The Underworld - Page 145/162

The woman was quiet, her breathing growing more erratic.

"I know what it feels like," he added. "I know how dark it can get."

"Stop, Gabriel! Let me go."

"Not until you listen and see what you're doing! You're the one who gave me hope, Deidre. Do you remember what you said? On the beach, the first night we met?"

"No." It was a forced whisper.

"Death lets you see the stars and the moon instead of how dark the night is," he repeated. "It gives you hope. You taught me this. After a thousand years of numbness, you reminded me what it means to be human."

"I'm so tired of all of this, Gabriel. So tired of fear and hurt and … everything." She was calming, the inhuman edge fading from her voice.

Gabriel released her without moving away. "Look at what you're doing, Deidre."

She wiped her face.

They stood quietly, observing the large swath of nothingness that remained from her journey through the forest to the palace.

"My mate is dying." He cleared his throat at the rough note that crept into his voice. "Yours is dead. Are you really going to punish the souls of so many? Are we going to make each other suffer more?"

Deidre faced him. Her eyes were blue again, the air around her electrified but calmer. "No, Gabriel," she said. "I couldn't. I won't."

"You're out of control." He pointed to the sky. "Just a little. I have a duty to stop you, but doing so will probably destroy everything. You need to stop this, Deidre. You need to keep the part of you that's human. Trust me, I know how hard it is, and there's no fucking instruction manual."

The corner of her mouth turned up in a sad smile. Tears trickled down her cheeks. "I didn't think I could hurt so much, but this is different. It's worse than when I thought I was losing you."

"You really cared for him."

"I do. I thought I wanted out of this horrible world, to be human and forget everything," she said. "But I need him. I don't want to live without him, and I don't know how to …" she drifted off, grappling with her emotions.

"You need balance," he finished for her.

"Yeah. Darkyn and … a weekend house on the beach in my world, so I don't forget what it's like to be human."

"Balance is good," he agreed. "Something I'm working on as well. If you let yourself kill Harmony in cold blood, or you take lives you shouldn't, you're going to regret it. Trust me. There's not enough water in the ocean to fill that void, not for someone as naturally good as you are."