"Yes."
"Then no, I won't. You can make me a deal."
I really hate demons. "Never mind." She took a deep breath and let her hands hover over the waters of the caldron.
Fear floated through her. She wasn't so sure she was ready to see who she was, or at least, who others thought she was. But she needed something to jar her memories more now than before.
"You think you should do that? It's not human-proof?" he mocked.
"I may be human, but I'm also the mate of a deity."
"Hasn't done you any good so far," he pointed out. "If you could access Gabriel's magic, wouldn't you have been able to get us out of here?"
"I got us out of our cell." She eyed him. "Why are you so concerned for my safety now?" He had a point, even if she didn't like it. She didn't remember enough about the souls or closet to know whether or not a human mate of a powerless deity was able to talk to the souls in the caldron.
"I like not being dead-dead, and you are the best way to ensure I stay that way."
A tear she didn't feel dripped into the waters beneath her hand. Past-Death wiped her cheeks, uncertain why her human body thought now was a good time to cry.
Because I can see everything I gave up. The knowledge of the universe. The power of a goddess. The only thing missing from the closet: Gabriel.
The tears came too fast for her to prevent them, and sobs wracked her tiny frame. Past-Death sank against one of the walls and drew her knees to her chest, burying her face in her hands. She wept for all she'd chosen to give up. She wept for what had slipped through her fingers. Her future was bleak, lonely and depressing and she was helpless to change it. Even if she was able to earn back the trust of good people like Gabriel and Deidre, did she deserve it? Was she worth the time and effort it'd take them to forgive her?
Or was she better off leaving their lives for good? Gabriel was her mate by Immortal law, but she wasn't going to spend a lifetime with someone who didn't want to be with her and could never love her, even if he stayed.
The idea she'd truly lost him had never seemed real before now, and it was a thought she didn't think she could live with. She'd risked everything to love him the way she thought he deserved - and lost.
Past-Death cried until she was too tired to continue then pulled out one of the meat pies from her pocket to nibble on. There was some relief in sobbing, but it hadn't helped her resolve any of her issues.