Until she thought of what the doctor told her. Despair and disbelief trickled through her.
How can I be dying?
"No, I meant to greet him. I just got a bit … involved with my work," she said, tossing the pencil.
"My nishani, who has no sense of duty at all," he said, his words softer. His gaze warmed, and he held out a hand to her.
Kiera took it and hugged him, comforted by his familiar scent and warmth. She rested her head against his warm chest. His heartbeat was slow and steady, its rhythm calming her.
"That doesn't bother you, does it?" she asked.
"You are my nishani. I have already claimed you."
It was his way of saying no. She hugged him more tightly. How did she tell him what the doctor told her? What did she say? That she was barren but not to worry - she'd be dead soon anyway and out of his life?
He loves me. I'd crush him. Yet there was a small voice in her mind that also pointed out how likely he to choose his duty and people over her, that he'd send her on the first ship back to Earth.
Not that she blamed him. He had a responsibility to an entire planet!
"You are upset?" A'Ran asked, stroking her hair.
She debated how to tell him news she didn't quite feel ready to admit was true yet. "Just … homesick a little," she lied. "Do you think you'd ever like to visit where I'm from?"
"One day, after Anshan is well."
"We have a duty to the people."
"We do, nishani." He pushed her away enough to see her eyes. "A very important one that only you can do. I felt the grass." For a moment, a different glow was in his eyes, one she knew stemmed from hope. "You can do what I failed to do."
"You never failed at anything," she said, touched by the words. "It's not possible for a dhjan to fail."
"You are mocking me."
"Only a little." She smiled. "You are the most incredible man in the world. Your people are fortunate to have someone like you to lead them."
"And someone like you to heal them," he added, warmth in his features. "You are the reason for everything, nishani. Because of you, the planet will live and so will the people. It is my honor to be the one who found you."
She forced a smile and rested her ear on his chest once more, feeling as if her world was starting to implode. What would he do when he realized she wasn't going to save anyone? When his planet died, and so did his bloodline?