I dragged a blanket with me to the hearth. It was warm and toasty, and I sat. Taylor did so as well, propping his elbows up on his knees, his lean torso drawing my attention once more.
We gazed at one another. The flames reflected in Taylor's mint green eyes. I tried to wrap my head around the idea we were married and in the end, decided the real-Josie was married, and I was just visiting. At twenty-two with no career, I hadn't thought twice about a permanent relationship, let alone marriage.
"You really cared about him," Taylor started.
"Of course I did. He's my father," I replied.
"Truth."
I looked away. "Do we have to do this tonight?" I groaned.
"It's not like he was really your father."
Emotions swirled. I clenched my fists in an attempt to hang onto emotions that were bubbling to be free. "He was more of a father than I've ever had. I shouldn't … care. But I do. Is that weird?"
"No. You're a good person, Josie," he replied and then frowned. "Is Josie even your real name?"
"Yes. Is yours Taylor?"
"Of course." He gave me an odd look. "You're the stranger here, not me."
"Yeah, right."
His expression softened into compassion. "Are you okay?"
I swallowed the lump in my throat and nodded. "John made me feel found for the first time in my life. He didn't care who I was or wasn't. Just loved me." My voice cracked, and I cleared my throat. Surprised by the depth of truth in my statement, I tried hard to push away the feelings making it difficult for me to breathe or think. "Does that make sense?"
"It does." Taylor was gazing at me. "Josie, if you're going to cry … I'm not good with women."
"I don't know what I feel. I just …" Struggling with my feelings, I shook my head. "I don't know. Confused, I think." I laughed. "How about I warn you if I decide to cry."
"Fair enough."
"You could cheer me up by taking off your shirt," I teased. Of the two of us, I was beginning to think Nell needed to give him The Talk instead of me.
"We are married."
"You ready for that?"
"Mostly."
Grinning, I studied him. "You're an interesting person, Taylor Hansen."
"As are you, Josie Hansen."
A little raw, somewhat curious, and a whole lot needing to avoid my emotions, I shuffled to him and flung the blanket around his shoulders, too. "Come on. Get close."
He shifted to wrap one arm around my shoulders and pulled me into his hard frame. I sank into him. He was warm, smelled of soap and man, and solid. In college, I'd have jumped at the chance to sleep with him but tonight … I didn't feel right. I didn't currently care, either, that he was a mystery to me, one I wasn't certain I could trust or wanted to know more about.