Crossing the Mirage:Passing Through Youth - Page 6/134

"How wretched it must be for her, in her condition!‟ he thought then. "Hasn't she reached the dead end, in the midst of her life? Maybe, a career would've provided some distraction for her. But dad would have none of that. It's as if, the very idea scandalizes him. It is really stupid of him to stick on to the old times!‟

Often, as he felt his own life was no less oppressive, he became melancholic to his mother's worry. Whenever she tried to probe his mind, he put it in the wraps, lest its exposure should burden her even more. Despite finding him dismissive of her inquiries, she never ceased pestering him but to no avail. Thus feeling helpless, she kept an eagle eye on him, and whenever she found him depressed, which was often, she sent him on some errand. She had reasoned that an outing, if it did not alleviate his melancholy, would at the least help unstring him a little.

That day, as Chandra was confined to his room for too long, Anasuya went up to him in concern.

“What‟s wrong?” she said feeling his forehead.

As their eyes met, he savored her affection.

“What a beautiful mother!” he thought. “What a pity she bore us ugly.”

Seeing his condition, she sent him on an errand to the Princely Pearls. When he was leaving home, he found his sister playing with the kids of the neighborhood.

"How she loves children!‟ he thought with mixed feelings. "Won't she be distressed for not having one of her own? Is it as an escape from boredom that she gathers them? But would that help her in any way! Maybe, it could be even worse for her. Why, wouldn't the charm of their company sharpen her lacking even more? Isn't all this misery because she is ugly? What an angelic soul, with life so sour! Oh, ugliness is the worst of fates, so it seems.‟

While he crossed the Lal Darwaza, he happened to come across two burka-clad women.

"What's this Muslim custom of wrapping up woman in burkas!‟ he wondered. "What is it that is sought to be hidden behind the veil? Is it beauty or ugliness? Whatever, the veil seems to be an ingenious leveler of the inequities of genes, at least in the public view! But, on that score, do women really care to hide themselves behind their veils? After all, it can't be, moreover, how can they be mad to endure the ordeal of breathing and the discomfort of constraint in that? Then, of what avail is it to women than to cater to the male sense of insecurity about them? Oh, how man's falsity of purpose deprives women the joys of being her free selves? Won't the burka symbolize the hold of man over woman‟s body and soul, not to speak of her psyche? Well, the slaves were better off than these women in their veils, why doubt that.‟