The Gentleman from Indiana - Page 81/212

"Can--can you--tell me why you think you ought not to go?" he whispered,

finally, with a great effort.

"No; not now. But I know you would think I am right in wanting to stay,"

she cried, impulsively. "I know you would, if you knew about it--but I

can't, I can't. I must go in the morning."

"I should always think you right," he answered in an unsteady tone,

"Always!" He went over to the bench, fumbled about for his hat, and picked

it up.

"Come," he said, gently, "I am going now."

She stood quite motionless for a full minute or longer; then, without a

word, she moved toward the house. He went to her with hands extended to

find her, and his fingers touched her sleeve. Then together and silently

they found the garden-path; and followed its dim length. In the orchard he

touched her sleeve again and led the way.

As they came out behind the house she detained him. Stopping short, she

shook his hand from her arm. She spoke in a single breath, as if it were

all one word: "Will you tell me why you go? It is not late. Why do you wish to leave me,

when I shall not see you again?"

"The Lord be good to me!" he broke out, all his long-pent passion of

dreams rushing to his lips, now that the barrier fell. "Don't you see it

is because I can't bear to let you go? I hoped to get away without saying

it. I want to be alone. I want to be with myself and try to realize. I

didn't want to make a babbling idiot of myself--but I am! It is because I

don't want another second of your sweetness to leave an added pain when

you've gone. It is because I don't want to hear your voice again, to have

it haunt me in the loneliness you will leave--but it's useless, useless! I

shall hear it always, just as I shall always see your face, just as I have

heard your voice and seen your face these seven years--ever since I first

saw you, a child at Winter Harbor. I forgot for a while; I thought it was

a girl I had made up out of my own heart, but it was you--you always! The

impression I thought nothing of at the time, just the merest touch on my

heart, light as it was, grew and grew deeper until it was there forever.

You've known me twenty-four hours, and I understand what you think of me

for speaking to you like this. If I had known you for years and had waited

and had the right to speak and keep your respect, what have I to offer

you? I, couldn't even take care of you if you went mad as I and listened.

I've no excuse for this raving. Yes, I have!"