Beth Norvell - Page 23/177

For the two performances following there occurred an enforced shift of

actors, owing to Mr. Mooney's being somewhat indisposed; and Winston,

aided by considerable prompting from the others, succeeded in getting

through his lines, conscious of much good-natured guying out in front,

and not altogether insensible to Miss Norvell's efforts not to appear

amused. This experience left him in no pleasanter frame of mind, while

a wish to throw over the whole thing returned with renewed temptation.

Why not? What was he continuing to make such a fool of himself for,

anyhow? He was assuredly old enough to be done with chasing after

will-o'-the-wisps; and besides, there was his constant liability to

meet some old acquaintance who would blow the whole confounded story

through the Denver clubs. The thought of the probable sarcasm of his

fellows made him wince.

Moreover, he was himself ashamed of his

actions. This actress was nothing to him; he thoroughly convinced

himself of that important fact at least twenty times a day. She was a

delightful companion, bright, witty, full of captivating character,

attractively winsome, to be sure, yet it was manifestly impossible for

him ever to consider her in any more serious way. This became

sufficiently clear to his reasoning, yet, at the same time, he could

never quite break free. She seldom appeared to him twice the

same--proving as changeable as the winds, her very nature seeming to

vary with a suddenness which never permitted his complete escape from

her fascinations, but left him to surmise how she would greet him next.

Frank or distant, filled with unrestrained gayety or dignified by

womanly reserve, smiling or grave, the changeable vagaries of Miss

Norvell were utterly beyond his guessing, while back of all these

outward manifestations of tantalizing personality, there continually

lurked a depth of hidden womanhood, which as constantly baffled his

efforts at fathoming. It piqued him to realize his own helplessness,

to comprehend how completely this girl turned aside his most daring

efforts at uncovering the true trend of her heart and life. She

refused to be read, wearing her various masks with a cool defiance

which apparently bespoke utter indifference to his good opinion, while

constantly affording him brief, tantalizing glimpses into half-revealed

depths that caused his heart to throb with anticipation never entirely

realized.

It did not once occur to his mind that such artifices might be directed

as much toward herself as him; he lacked the conceit which could have

convinced him that they merely marked a secret struggle for mastery, a

desperate effort to crush an inclination to surrender before the

temptation of the moment. It was a battle for deliverance being fought

silently behind a mask of smiles, an exchange of sparkling commonplace;

yet ever beneath this surface play she was breathing a fervent prayer

that he would go away of his own volition and leave her free. Far more

clearly than he, the woman recognized the utter impossibility of any

serious purpose between them, and she fought his advances with every

weapon in her armory, her very soul trembling behind the happy smiling

of her lips. It was bravely attempted, and yet those dull weapons of

defence served merely to increase his interest, to awaken his passion,

and thus bind him more strongly to her. Safe once again from general

observation, he returned to the obscurity of the wings and to the

routine handling of trunks and scenery, feeling totally unable to

permit her to pass entirely out of his life. Within her own room she

dampened her pillow with tears of regret and remorse, yet finally she

sank to sleep strangely happy because he lingered. It was the way of a

woman; it was no less the way of a man.