* * *
Colt looked terrible. I apologized profusely. But what could I do? It wasn’t me who threw the punch. He said he wasn’t pressing charges. Mostly I think it was to keep me out of any publicity, and I think Joey had something to do with that. After saying our goodbyes, and promising to keep in touch, Joey and I headed back to Butler Cove in my truck with the windows down, the wind whipping through our hair. Both of us had too many thoughts and not much to say.
“When are you going back?” I finally asked Joey as we pulled onto the crushed oyster shell parking pad outside our historic home.
“This afternoon.” He looked over at me. “Are you going to be okay?”
I nodded. “Jazz will keep me out of trouble.”
His brow furrowed at the mention of Jazz’s name. “Fine. Just call me if you need to. Columbia is only about a two and a half hour drive. You can always come up there and see me.”
We sat for a moment. “I’m sorry I haven’t been here for you, kiddo. I can see how selfish I was by continuing on with my plans for school. I didn’t think about how being left alone must have felt to you.”
“It’s fine, Joey. I’ve been fine.” I put a hand on his arm.
He shrugged. “I know you have. I just thought if I could get done first, then I could support you.”
“Joey. This is nothing new. That was always the plan, and I was okay with it. I’m still okay with it—”
“I know! It’s just that you shouldn’t be. This is the prime of your life. You should be studying and figuring things out and making new friends. And dating. You should be dating! As it is ... you were a sitting duck for the likes of Jack Eversea strolling into town.”
I scowled. “Thanks a lot. Way to cheapen the entire thing and make me look like a fool.”
“That’s not what I meant. You know that. Just ... please. I can’t believe I’m going to say this, having been vehemently against it since I can remember, but Colt—”
“Do not finish that sentence, Joey.”
“He really likes you, always has. And he’s successful. Not Jack Eversea successful. But he has a good job, and he’s doing really well.”
“Stop it, Joey!”
“He’s a normal guy. A nice guy. He wouldn’t dare mess you around—”
“I thought you called him a man-whore because of all his one night stands,” I reminded him. That should shut him up.
“That’s just because he’s never dated anyone like you.”
I snorted. “Please.”
“Okay. That sounded dumb. I guess what I mean is, just let him take you out. Take you on a few dates, or something. You never know.”
“Joey. I can’t, ok? I just ... can’t. I’m ... raw. I just want to go back to it being only me for a long while. I don’t want that giddy roller coast ride of highs and lows. I’m in the low right now, and it’s crushing me.”
“But you wouldn’t have that with Colt, it would be steady. He’s steady.”
“Joey.” How did I explain how truly terrifying that sounded. “That would be worse than nothing at all.”
He slumped in his seat. “I know that, I guess. I just—”
“Look, I get it, you’re saying all this because you’re worried. But, Joey, I’ll be fine. I know I’ll be fine. I felt like I’d never be fine again after mom and dad, but I was. And then after Nana. But I was. I still miss them every day, but I’m alright. I know I’ll think about Jack every day for the rest of my life. He changed me. He made me want more. Made me want to be more. Those are good things. I’m hanging onto them. And regardless of what you think of him, and also how mad I am at him for how everything went down, he’s a good guy. I have to believe I didn’t fall for an asshole.” I clenched my fists. “But I’ll be okay. Not right now. But I will.” And so I’d keep telling myself until I actually believed it.
We climbed out of the truck and headed up the porch steps.
With his hand on the railing, Joey stopped and looked about him a moment before fixing his eyes on me. “Okay, kiddo, one last thing. Don’t wait on me. Please. Go ahead and look into some colleges or art schools, maybe even do something online for now. We can deal with the loans later. And fuck the town, they can just freakin’ wait on the house. This is your life we’re talking about.”
I smiled and wrapped my arms around him. “I’ve been thinking the same, I just wasn’t sure how you’d feel about it.”
“Damn, I’m sorry,” he said into my hair. “We should’ve done that all along. Somehow, we should have figured out a way. I’m so sorry.”
I hugged him tighter. “Stop apologizing. We did it the way we had to. And to be honest, I feel more focused now, more sure of what I want to do and study. I didn’t feel that before. I always thought I should do a safe degree, but now I know I should follow my dreams. And at least I have a clearer idea of what my dreams are. I got lost for a while, I think.”
Joey let me go and walked inside. He returned a few minutes later with two frosty glasses of sweet tea, and we sat on the top step of the porch in the fall breeze to enjoy the last hour of his visit together. It was cut short by two things, Jazz showing up and my phone buzzing a text.
I pulled it out of my back pocket, and upon seeing Jack’s moniker; Late Night Visitor, lost all my carefully smoothed out nerves. Breathing through the rolling wave of dizziness, I swallowed and read the words.
Late Night Visitor: I’m sorry. I’m sorry for how I was last night. I’m sorry for taking something from you I’ll never be able to give back. I’m sorry I am telling you this by text. I’m just ... sorry. You deserved so much more than me.
T H I R T Y – F I V E
Six Weeks Later
I was sitting out on the front porch swing and enjoying my coffee and Mrs. Weaton’s biscotti the morning of my birthday. She made it with salted caramel chunks. It was pretty spectacular.
Joey was due home later, having started coming home every other Saturday when his schedule allowed it, and today was no exception. He’d decided I needed a birthday party, which I’d vehemently opposed, refusing to change my shift schedule at the grill. Now it was happening anyway, and Brenda was coming in so I could clock out early and join the festivities at my house.
I pulled my sweater a little tighter around my body against the chilled breeze that had swept over the island, just as a sleek dark car pulled into the driveway and purred to a stop under the Live Oaks.
Colt had taken to coming over when Joey was home, although he never usually arrived so early. I couldn’t help smiling when the door to his midnight blue BMW opened and several brightly colored balloons erupted out of the car and floated up into the Spanish moss-draped branches.
“Shit!” I heard, followed by several grunts. A pair of legs emerged, and finally Colt’s body fought through the rainbow. “Sorry,” he said, clutching the rest of the strings tightly in his fist, wrestling the bunch into submission. “I guess I lost a few.”
My smile broke into laughter at the devastated look on his handsome face.
“Happy birthday,” he said sheepishly. He leaned back into the car with his other hand and brought out a huge bouquet of white lilies. Oh. I kept the smile plastered to my face and tried not to let my nervousness show at his romantic birthday gifts.