The Fighting Shepherdess - Page 228/231

"If it could have been of my own planning I could not have conceived of a more gratifying situation than this.

"I know how much my decision means to you; I know that there isn't one here who would not be affected directly or indirectly by the collapse of this project; that it will take years for you to get back even to the position you were in when you came, quite as well as I realize that its completion would put you on your feet."

She stopped again while they waited for her to go on in a silence that was painful.

"When I've visualized 'The Day' in my waking dreams, I've wondered if I should weaken and forgive my enemies as they always do in books--if any argument could move me to relent--if any impulse would soften me toward you--if I might not even pity you.

"One never knows, but I thought not. And I was right. The desperation of your situation isn't the sort of pathos that appeals to me. I find that in my nature there is nothing 'noble' that pleads for you. I neither pity nor forgive you.

"Yet this moment is a disappointment. Instead of the sweetness of revenge, I feel only indifference, for I realize as never before how I magnified your importance, that I looked at you through the wrong end of the telescope; and along with my apathy is a feeling of dismay that I have spent all these years working to retaliate upon foes that are not worth what it has cost. The worst thing one could wish you is to be yourselves, for there isn't one among you who has the qualities to lift him above his present level of mediocrity."

A resentful movement to go was initiated by Gov'nor Sudds.

"Wait a moment!" Kate raised her hand imperiously. "I presume you think you have your answer?" She shook her head slowly. Then, with increased deliberation: "I told you that I always pay my debts. I owe my success to you. It is my enemies who have given me the patience to sit hour after hour and herd sheep--not for weeks nor months, but for years. It is my enemies who have given me the courage to stagger on through cold and snow when the blood in my veins was ice. It is my enemies who have given me the endurance to work in emergencies until I have dropped; to endure poverty, loneliness, derision--and worse. When failures have knocked me down, it is you, my enemies, who have given me the strength to pick myself up and go on.