At Last - Page 63/170

Then--so abrupt and fearful are the transitions from the extremes of

one emotion to another--arose before her another picture. As in a

dissolving view, she beheld herself walking with Frederic Chilton in

the moonlighted alleys of the garden; midsummer flowers blooming to

the right and left, her head drooping, in shy happiness, as the

lily-bell bows to shed its freight of dew; his face glowing with the

ardor of verbal confession of that he had already sought to express

by letter--heard his fervent, pleading murmur, "Mabel! look up, my

darling! and tell me again that you will not send me away beggared

and starving. I cannot yet believe in the reality of my bliss!"

These were the love-words of an "enthusiast"--these--The vision vanished at the short, hard breath, she drew in

unclasping her locked hands, and lifting her grave, tranquil eyes to

the level of her suitor's.

"I will follow your example in repudiating spurious sentiment, Mr.

Dorrance. I believe you to be a good, true man and that the

attachment you profess for me is sincere. I believe, moreover, that

my chances of securing real peace of mind will be fairer, should I

commit myself to your guardianship, than if I were to surrender my

affections to the keeping of one whose vows were more impassioned,

who, professing to adore me as a divinity, should yet be destitute

of your high moral principle and stainless honor. When I was younger

and more rash in judgment and feeling, I was led into a sad mistake

by the evidence of eye, ear, and a girl's imagination. I ought to

tell you this, if you have not already heard the story. I will not

deceive you into the persuasion that I can ever feel for you, or any

other man, the love, or what I thought was love, I knew in the few

brief weeks of my early betrothal. But you must know how that ended,

and I have no desire to repeat the mad experiment of risking my

earthly all upon one throw of fate. If friendship--if esteem, and

the resolve to show myself a worthy recipient of your generous

confidence--will content you, all else shall be as you wish."

In her determination to be candid, to leave him in no uncertainty as

to her actual sentiments, she had concerted a response but a degree

less stilted than his proposal. She would have been ashamed of it

had he appeared less gratified.

His dull eyes brightened; his face flushed and beamed with unfeigned

delight, and in his transport he said the most natural and graceful

thing that ever escaped him during his wooing.