Chance - Page 156/275

Meantime Fyne was telling me rather remarkable things--for him. He

declared first it was a mercy in a sense. Then he asked me if it were

not real madness, to saddle one's existence with such a perpetual

reminder. The daily existence. The isolated sea-bound existence. To

bring such an additional strain into the solitude already trying enough

for two people was the craziest thing. Undesirable relations were bad

enough on shore. One could cut them or at least forget their existence

now and then. He himself was preparing to forget his brother-in-law's

existence as much as possible.

That was the general sense of his remarks, not his exact words. I

thought that his wife's brother's existence had never been very

embarrassing to him but that now of course he would have to abstain from

his allusions to the "son of the poet--you know." I said "yes, yes" in

the pauses because I did not want him to turn round; and all the time I

was watching the girl intently. I thought I knew now what she meant with

her--"He was most generous." Yes. Generosity of character may carry a

man through any situation. But why didn't she go then to her generous

man? Why stand there as if clinging to this solid earth which she surely

hated as one must hate the place where one has been tormented, hopeless,

unhappy? Suddenly she stirred. Was she going to cross over? No. She

turned and began to walk slowly close to the curbstone, reminding me of

the time when I discovered her walking near the edge of a ninety-foot

sheer drop. It was the same impression, the same carriage, straight,

slim, with rigid head and the two hands hanging lightly clasped in

front--only now a small sunshade was dangling from them. I saw something

fateful in that deliberate pacing towards the inconspicuous door with the

words Hotel Entrance on the glass panels.

She was abreast of it now and I thought that she would stop again; but

no! She swerved rigidly--at the moment there was no one near her; she

had that bit of pavement to herself--with inanimate slowness as if moved

by something outside herself.

"A confounded convict," Fyne burst out.

With the sound of that word offending my ears I saw the girl extend her

arm, push the door open a little way and glide in. I saw plainly that

movement, the hand put out in advance with the gesture of a sleep-walker.

She had vanished, her black figure had melted in the darkness of the open

door. For some time Fyne said nothing; and I thought of the girl going

upstairs, appearing before the man. Were they looking at each other in

silence and feeling they were alone in the world as lovers should at the

moment of meeting? But that fine forgetfulness was surely impossible to

Anthony the seaman directly after the wrangling interview with Fyne the

emissary of an order of things which stops at the edge of the sea. How

much he was disturbed I couldn't tell because I did not know what that

impetuous lover had had to listen to.