Chance - Page 202/275

No scorn could stand against the impression of such charges advanced with

heat and conviction. They shook him. They were yet vibrating in the air

of that stuffy hotel-room, terrific, disturbing, impossible to get rid

of, when the door opened and Flora de Barral entered.

He did not even notice that she was late. He was sitting on a sofa

plunged in gloom. Was it true? Having himself always said exactly what

he meant he imagined that people (unless they were liars, which of course

his brother-in-law could not be) never said more than they meant. The

deep chest voice of little Fyne was still in his ear. "He knows,"

Anthony said to himself. He thought he had better go away and never see

her again. But she stood there before him accusing and appealing. How

could he abandon her? That was out of the question. She had no one. Or

rather she had someone. That father. Anthony was willing to take him at

her valuation. This father may have been the victim of the most

atrocious injustice. But what could a man coming out of jail do? An old

man too. And then--what sort of man? What would become of them both?

Anthony shuddered slightly and the faint smile with which Flora had

entered the room faded on her lips. She was used to his impetuous

tenderness. She was no longer afraid of it. But she had never seen him

look like this before, and she suspected at once some new cruelty of

life. He got up with his usual ardour but as if sobered by a momentous

resolve and said: "No. I can't let you out of my sight. I have seen you. You have told

me your story. You are honest. You have never told me you loved me."

She waited, saying to herself that he had never given her time, that he

had never asked her! And that, in truth, she did not know!

I am inclined to believe that she did not. As abundance of experience is

not precisely her lot in life, a woman is seldom an expert in matters of

sentiment. It is the man who can and generally does "see himself" pretty

well inside and out. Women's self-possession is an outward thing;

inwardly they flutter, perhaps because they are, or they feel themselves

to be, engaged. All this speaking generally. In Flora de Barral's

particular case ever since Anthony had suddenly broken his way into her

hopeless and cruel existence she lived like a person liberated from a

condemned cell by a natural cataclysm, a tempest, an earthquake; not

absolutely terrified, because nothing can be worse than the eve of

execution, but stunned, bewildered--abandoning herself passively. She

did not want to make a sound, to move a limb. She hadn't the strength.

What was the good? And deep down, almost unconsciously she was seduced

by the feeling of being supported by this violence. A sensation she had

never experienced before in her life.