Chance - Page 65/275

"But if infatuation--quite possible I admit," I argued, "how do you

account for the nature of the conspiracy."

"You expect a cogency of conduct not usual in women," said Marlow. "The

subterfuges of a menaced passion are not to be fathomed. You think it is

going on the way it looks, whereas it is capable, for its own ends, of

walking backwards into a precipice.

When one once acknowledges that she was not a common woman, then all this

is easily understood. She was abominable but she was not common. She

had suffered in her life not from its constant inferiority but from

constant self-repression. A common woman finding herself placed in a

commanding position might have formed the design to become the second

Mrs. de Barral. Which would have been impracticable. De Barral would

not have known what to do with a wife. But even if by some impossible

chance he had made advances, this governess would have repulsed him with

scorn. She had treated him always as an inferior being with an assured,

distant politeness. In her composed, schooled manner she despised and

disliked both father and daughter exceedingly. I have a notion that she

had always disliked intensely all her charges including the two ducal (if

they were ducal) little girls with whom she had dazzled de Barral. What

an odious, ungratified existence it must have been for a woman as avid of

all the sensuous emotions which life can give as most of her betters.

She had seen her youth vanish, her freshness disappear, her hopes die,

and now she felt her flaming middle-age slipping away from her. No

wonder that with her admirably dressed, abundant hair, thickly sprinkled

with white threads and adding to her elegant aspect the piquant

distinction of a powdered coiffure--no wonder, I say, that she clung

desperately to her last infatuation for that graceless young scamp, even

to the extent of hatching for him that amazing plot. He was not so far

gone in degradation as to make him utterly hopeless for such an attempt.

She hoped to keep him straight with that enormous bribe. She was clearly

a woman uncommon enough to live without illusions--which, of course, does

not mean that she was reasonable. She had said to herself, perhaps with

a fury of self-contempt "In a few years I shall be too old for anybody.

Meantime I shall have him--and I shall hold him by throwing to him the

money of that ordinary, silly, little girl of no account." Well, it was

a desperate expedient--but she thought it worth while. And besides there

is hardly a woman in the world, no matter how hard, depraved or frantic,

in whom something of the maternal instinct does not survive, unconsumed

like a salamander, in the fires of the most abandoned passion. Yes there

might have been that sentiment for him too. There was no doubt. So I

say again: No wonder! No wonder that she raged at everything--and

perhaps even at him, with contradictory reproaches: for regretting the

girl, a little fool who would never in her life be worth anybody's

attention, and for taking the disaster itself with a cynical levity in

which she perceived a flavour of revolt.