"Alick is no judge! He is the child of the house, and my uncle and Mr.
Lifford don't feel complete without him. My uncle is as fond of me as
can be, and he and I could get on beautifully, but then Mr. Lifford is
impracticable."
"Impracticable?" said Rachel, taking up the long word. "He objects to
your exerting yourself in the parish. I know what that is."
"Pray, Rachel," said Fanny, imploringly, "pray don't any anything
against him! I am very sorry he has annoyed you, but I do like him."
"Oh, does he play croquet!" cried Bessie.
"I gather," said Rachel, in her impressive tone, a little disappointed,
"that by impracticable you mean one who will not play croquet."
"You have hit it!" laughed Bessie. "Who will neither play at croquet,
nor let one work except in his way. Well, there are hopes for you. I
cure the curates of every cure I come near, except, of course, the cure
that touches me most nearly. The shoemaker's wife goes the worst shod!
I'll tame yours."
"My dear, I can't have poor Mr. Touchett made game of."
"I won't make game of him, dear Lady Temple, only make him play a game."
"But you said Alick did not approve," said Fanny, with the dimmest
possible ideas of what croquet was, and believing it a wicked flirtation
trap that figured in "Punch."
"Oh, that's fudge on Master Alick's part! Just the remains of his old
miseries, poor fellow. What he wants is love! Now he'll meet his fate
some of these days; and as he can't meet three Englishwomen without a
mallet in hand, love and croquet will come together."
"Alick is very good," went on Lady Temple, not answering, but arguing
with herself whether this opposition could be right. "Colonel Hammond
gave me such an account of him, so valuable and excellent among the men,
and doing all that is possible for their welfare, interesting himself
about their library, and the regimental school and all. The colonel
said he wished only that he was a little more easy and popular among the
young officers; but so many of his own standing were gone by the time
he joined again, that he lives almost too much to himself, reads a good
deal, and is most exemplary, but does not quite make his influence as
available as it might be."
"That's just it," cried Bessie, eagerly; "the boy is a lazy boy, and
wants shaking up, or he'll get savage and no good. Can't you see, by the
way he uses his poor little sister, what an awful don Captain Keith must
be to a schoolboy of an ensign? He must be taught toleration and hunted
into amiability, or he'll be the most terrible Turk by the time he is a
colonel; and you are the only person that can do it, dear Lady Temple."