Free Air - Page 145/176

"He needs me--but he'd boss me. I'd be the cunning child-wife, even at

fifty," she worried, and "Hang him, it's like his superiority to beat

poor Milt even at adventuring--and to be such a confounded Modest

Christian Gentleman about it!"

"You'd--you're so dreadfully managing," she sighed aloud.

For the first time in all their acquaintanceship, Jeff's pride broke,

and he held her away from him, while his lips were pathetic, and he

mourned, "Why do you always try to hurt me?"

"Oh, my dear, I don't."

"Is it because you resent the decent things I have managed to do?"

"I don't understand."

"If I have an idea for a party, you think I'm 'managing.' If I think

things out deeply, you say I'm dull."

"Oh, you aren't. I didn't mean----"

"What are you? A real woman, or one of these flirts, that love to tease

a man because he's foolish enough to be honestly in love?"

"I'm not--hon-estly I'm not, Jeff. It's---- You don't quite make me----

It's just that I'm not in love with you. I like you, and respect you

terribly, but----"

"I'm going to make you love me." His clutching fingers hurt her arm, and

somehow she was not angry, but stirred. "But I'm not going to try now.

Forget the Alaskan caveman. Remember, I haven't even used the word

'love.' I've just chatted about fjords, or whatever they are, but one of

these days---- No. I won't do it. I want to stay here in Seattle a few

days, and take you on jolly picnics, but---- Would you rather I didn't

even do that? I'm----" He dropped her arm, kneaded his forehead with the

heel of his palm. "I can't stand being regarded as a bothersome puppy. I

can't stand it! I can't!"

"Please stay, Jeff! We'll have some darling drives and things. We'll go

up Rainier as far as we can."

He stayed. He was anecdotal and amusing at tea, that afternoon. Claire

saw how the Gilsons, and two girls who dropped in, admired him. That

made her uneasy. And when Mrs. Gilson begged him to leave his hotel and

stay with them, he refused with a quick look at Claire that hurt her.

"He wants me to be free. He's really so much more considerate than Milt.

And I hurt him. Even his pride broke down. And I've spoiled Milt's life

by meddling. And I've hurt the Gilsons' feelings. And I'm not much of a

comfort to father. Oh, I'm absolutely no good," she agonized.