The Heart's Kingdom - Page 18/148

"I feel as much rooted as one of the old poplars," I said to myself as

some whim made me go down the steps and out into the garden, along the

walks with their budding borders of narcissus and peonies, down through

Nickols' sunken garden to the two oldest of all the poplars that now

seemed to be standing sentinel to prevent any raid from me on the little

stone meeting house over the lilac hedge. "You dear old graybeard," I

said to the one on my left, as I looked up and saw a faint feathering of

silver on its branches. And as I spoke I took the old trunk into my

embrace and laid my cheek against the rough bark.

And then something happened. Afterwards I was glad that I was leaning

against the strength of the old graybeard poplar and hidden behind it.

Suddenly from out the shadows beyond the lilac hedge, through whose bare

branches any movement in the yard of the chapel showed plainly, a woman

came stumbling along towards the gate and beside her walked the parson

with his arm supporting hers. She was sobbing the hard, dry sobs that

any woman knows are those of despair, and which call any other woman who

hears them. My first impulse was to run to the hedge and speak to her;

then I stopped, for I was arrested by what the parson was saying to her.

"What does it matter, Martha? You have your Master's forgiveness and His

permission to go and sin no more, even though those sins be as

scarlet." And as he spoke his voice was that of quiet authority as if he

felt fully his apostolic right to unloose sins upon this earth.

"He'll come back now that she has, and he'll come to me again. I can't

fight him. I'll slip back into hell. Just give me the money to go out

into the city and I'll not bother anybody any more. I'll take the child

and I'll die for all anybody in Goodloets ever knows. Lend me the money;

I'll send it back!" The girl's voice was hard and defiant and she turned

and faced the minister as if at bay. "Give me that money, if all that

praying and singing and preaching that you've done is true. I want to go

in the morning before he follows her here and puts me in hell again. God

won't clean me twice."

"You shall go," came the calm answer in the apostle's beautiful voice,

"but I will have to have a few days to provide a place of safety for you

in the city, where the child can be cared for while you get suitable

work."

"I won't wait. He'll follow her and he'll look down on me and the child

and damn me again. I won't wait. I'm weak and I dasn't. Give me that

money to-night!" And the demand was passionate and savage.