Laura was more at ease in manner, though very far from happy, for she was restlessly eager for a talk with Philip; while he was resolved not to seek a private interview, sure that it would excite suspicion, and willing to lose the consciousness of his underhand proceedings.
This was the day of the dinner-party, and Laura's heart leaped as she calculated that it must fall to Philip's lot to hand her in to dinner. She was not mistaken, he did give her his arm; and they found themselves most favourably placed, for Philip's other neighbour was Mrs. Brownlow, talking at a great rate to Mr. de Courcy, and on Laura's side was the rather deaf Mr. Hayley, who had quite enough to do to talk to Miss Brownlow. Charles was not at table, and not one suspicious eye could rest on them, yet it was not till the second course was in progress that he said anything which the whole world might not have heard. Something had passed about Canterbury, and its distance from Hollywell.
'I can be here often,' said Philip.
'I am glad.'
'If you can only be guarded,--and I think you are becoming so.'
'Is this a time to speak of--? Oh, don't!'
'It is the only time. No one is attending, and I have something to say to you.'
Overpowering her dire confusion, in obedience to him, she looked at the epergne, and listened.
'You have acted prudently. You have checked--' and he indicated Guy--'without producing more than moderate annoyance. You have only to guard your self-possession.'
'It is very foolish,' she murmured.
'Ordinary women say so, and rest contented with the folly. You can do better things.'
There was a thrill of joy at finding him conversing with her as his 'own;' it overcame her embarrassment and alarm, and wishes he would not choose such a time for speaking.'
'How shall I?' said she.
'Employ yourself. Employ and strengthen your mind!'
'How shall I, and without you?'
'Find something to prevent you from dwelling on the future. That drawing is dreamy work, employing the fingers and leaving the mind free.'
'I have been trying to read, but I cannot fix my mind.'
'Suppose you take what will demand attention. Mathematics, algebra. I will send you my first book of algebra, and it will help you to work down many useless dreams and anxieties.'
'Thank you; pray do; I shall be very glad of it.'
'You will find it give a power and stability to your mind, and no longer have to complain of frivolous occupation.'