'It was not an engagement,' faltered Laura.
'Laura, don't, for mercy's sake, recall my own hateful sophistries,' exclaimed Philip, as if unable to control the pain it gave him; 'I have had enough of that from my sister;' then softening instantly: 'it was self-deceit; a deception first of myself, then of you. You had not experience enough to know whither I was leading you, till I had involved you; and when the sight of death showed me the fallacy of the salve to my conscience, I had nothing for it but to confess, and leave you to bear the consequences. O Laura! when I think of my conduct towards you, it seems even worse than that towards--towards your brother-in-law!'
His low, stern tone of bitter suffering and self-reproach was something new and frightful to Laura. She clung to his arm and tried to say--'O, don't speak in that way! You know you meant the best. You could not help being mistaken.'
'If I did know any such thing, Laura! but the misery of perceiving that my imagined anxiety for his good,--his good, indeed! was but a cloak for my personal enmity--you can little guess it.'
Laura tried to say that appearances were against Guy, but he would not hear.
'If they were, I triumphed in them. I see now that a shade of honest desire to see him exculpated would have enabled me to find the clue. If I had gone to St. Mildred's at once--interrogated him as a friend--seen Wellwood--but dwelling on the ifs of the last two years can bring nothing but distraction,' he added, pausing suddenly.
'And remember,' said Laura, 'that dear Guy himself was always grateful to you. He always upheld that you acted for his good. Oh! the way he took it was the one comfort I had last year.'
'The acutest sting, and yet the only balm,' murmured Philip; 'see, Laura,' and he opened the first leaf of Guy's prayer-book, which he had been using at the christening.
A whispered 'Dear Guy!' was the best answer she could make, and the tears were in her eyes. 'He was so very kind to me, when he saw me that unhappy wedding-day.'
'Did Amy tell you his last words to me?'
'No,' said Laura.
'God bless you and my sister!' he repeated, so low that she could hardly hear.
'Amy left that for you to tell,' said Laura, as her tears streamed fast. How can we speak of her, Philip?'
'Only as an angel of pardon and peace!' he answered.