God's Good Man - Page 424/443

The prime of youth is said to be the only time of life when lovers are supposed by poets and romancists to walk 'on air,' so as John Walden was long past the age when men are called young, it is difficult to determine the kind of buoyant element on which he trod when he left the Manor that evening. Youth!--what were its vague inchoate emotions, its trembling hesitations, its more or less selfish jealousies, doubts and desires, compared to the strong, glowing and tender passion which filled the heart of this man, so long a solitary in the world, who now awaking to the consciousness of love in its noblest, purest form, knew that from henceforth he was no longer alone! A life,--delicate and half broken by cruel destiny, hung on his for support, help and courage,--a soul, full of sweetness and purity, clung to him for its hope of Heaven! The glad blood quickened in his veins,--he was twice a man,--never had he felt so proud, so powerful, and withal so young. Like the Psalmist he could have said 'My days are renewed upon the earth'--and he devoutly thanked God for the blessing and glory of the gift of love which above all others makes existence sweet.

"My darling!" he murmured, as he walked joyously along the little distance stretching between the lodge gates of the Manor and his own home--"She shall never miss one joy that I can give her! How fortunate it is that I am tall and strong, for when the summer days come I can lift her from her couch and carry her out into the garden like a little child in my arms, and she will rest under the trees, and perhaps gradually get accustomed to the loss of her own bright vitality if I do my utmost best to be all life to her! I will fill her days with varied occupations and try to make the time pass sweetly,--she shall keep all her interests in the village--nothing shall be done without her consent--ah yes!--I know I shall be able to make her happier than she would be if left to bear her trouble quite alone! If she were strong and well, I should be no fit partner for her--but as it is--perhaps my love may comfort her, and my unworthiness be forgiven!"

Thus thinking, he arrived at his rectory, and entering, pushed open the door of his study. There, somewhat to his surprise, he found Dr. 'Jimmy' Forsyth standing in a meditative attitude with his back to the fire.