Feeling miserable and unable to steady her thoughts, she went home for contemplation.
‘Oh God, is it possible that his passion was no more than a passing interest in me?’ she felt nervous as she lay in her bed. ‘Am I destined to be disappointed in love as well? If only he cared to tell me about it, I would have reconciled to my fate. Can I really? No, I can’t live without him. Don’t I want him at any cost? What am I to do now to make him mine? What if I beg him for love? Well, did ever begging beget love? Isn’t it a cold welcome that awaits the fate of unrequited love? If not, Sathyam would have had the warmth of my love for so long now. Why it’s so clear that my destiny is linked to Raja’s passion for me, I’ll be blessed if he takes me and if not, I would be doomed forever. Does he or doesn’t he love me? Oh, isn’t this suspense killing me.’
‘Surely, I was cheated by fate to air my love to him,’ she thought as she pulled from her blouse her missive for him and the letter she wrote to Sandhya, ‘but won’t my destiny let me have the last laugh in our liaison.’
Roopa reached that stage in love when a woman feels obliged to keep her love alive so as to sustain her belief in her ability to love and be loved.