The Mockingbird's Ballad - Page 19/165

J. N. hung his head with a guilty, "Yes, sir."

John L. returned to his chair and sat down. His grandchildren were sitting to his left along the porch on the other side of Mama Bear. His hurt and anger changed to one of disgust and indignation. "Folks just don't understand this war. It's all about arrogance. Those god-almighty planters in Mississippi, South Carolina, Georgia and even west Tennessee want to keep Negroes in slavery. They want my children and grandchildren to fight for them so they can keep being the lords of the manor. Hell, I've been close to a slave to those sorts of folks and damn if I countenance fighting for them or my kin doing it."

He got his breath and looked to the sky as if putting together his thoughts. "My daddy never bowed his head and touched his hand to his forehead like a peasant to those high-falutin asses, and neither have I. How I despise those grand bottomland and tidewater lords. They've always suckered folks, and now they're sending them - you - to become cannon fodder. Lord Almighty, deliver me and mine! Now some other suckers of some other lords from Boston, Philadelphia or Chicago have come to our valley and shed my own blood on our land. Very well, very well," he paused, took a puff of his dead pipe, made a face and began the process of making another smoke. Everybody sat quietly, not looking directly at their grandparents or anything in particular. When refired, John L. said in sad resignation, "You all go, go on, if that's what has to be. You're not going with my blessing, though, never." His face was hard and he looked as if he'd taken a hard hit. He said, "Bear Woman and I'll be here." The grandchildren had very seldom if ever heard him speak Mama Bear's Cherokee name. "Mary Jane, Joe T., Nancy and we will make do. We'll be here when you come home. Great God, I surely hope it's alive."

"We'll be home, Grand," Alex promised. J. N. could not say anything. Lou was looking at the darkening western sky above the ridge crest as if far, far away.

===

It was about two hours before first light. Mama Bear tugged at Lou's quilted shoulder, "Up girl, we've got to talk."

From a hard sleep's lifting heaviness, Lou said, "Yes, Mama Bear. What is it?"

Get dressed and don't wake the house. Come out to the porch; "was the reply.

Lou tugged on her heavy coat as she quietly closed the front door. She put on her old hand-me-down felt hat and joined her grandmother on the porch's second step. Her mother sat in Grand's rocker behind Mama Bear.