Jones of Old Lincoln - Page 19/88

It must be obvious to the guys in the pool hall that I am not one of them, no matter what my heritage. My romantic attachment could not make it so. I suppose I have been seduced by worldly knowledge, easy Grace, and earthy sirens, and it shows. They don't know who I am, who my people are, thus I'm an intruder. I was as out of place as Mr. Jones was out of time.

***

"Sir, if you must go off someplace beyond the pale, I feel useless. Further, your coarse humor and need for idle palaver with others infringe on our time together. I offer you the opportunity of my companionship, and if it is not of importance to you, then I will not intrude. My impression was that in your search for me you wished to create something that might be worthwhile for others to read." Mr. Jones' exasperation was most plain.

"Mr. Jones, sir, I am properly chastised. I do apologize. But please understand while you are present to me, others do not see you. They don't know you are here. My chatter with the waitress may be an expression of my nervousness of your being with me-here, now-and I being here." I moved my head to take in our surroundings. I did not explain that my daydreaming visited and bespoke my lostness. "If I leave, wander, and wonder about your offerings, it is my effort to sort out what you share and my struggle to understand."

"Very well, sir, I can understand your predicament." He looked around at our setting just as I had done. "I really have not taken notice of what you state as obvious. This place, these people do not signify to me. They are of your reality, sir, not mine. I shall make an effort not to be provoked into vexation by your ways. I will try to take into account that you live in it, and that I'm visiting you and you are captured in all this." He opened and lifted his hands as to acknowledge the place and people.

"As for your dealing with me and my unusual presence and otherworldly contributions I do imagine it not a routine experience."

"Well, that would be considerate." I said. He only looked puzzled and unimpressed by my declaration. The attitude he conveyed was one of little true regard for my situation. I was challenged. I was provoked to press my point.

My retort was snippy, "Governor Brown appointed you to the Board of Trustees of the State Hospital for the Insane up at Murfreesboro in 1871. Correct, sir?" He acknowledged that fact with a nod. His countenance was at first puzzled, then, his face warmed when he realized where I was going with this. "Mr. Jones, if I act as if you are here or, that you are really real and I talk with you, folks will soon see to it that I visit the modern incarnation of that asylum. Having illusions can be destructive to one's freedom. Please accept that I am balancing being with you and staying out of a mental hospital." He nodded and appeared to be the one now chastised and a little humored.