Anna Karenina - Part 5 - Page 55/117

"No; this is awful! To be such a slave!" cried Levin, getting

up, and unable to restrain his anger any longer. But at the same

second he felt that he was beating himself.

"Then why did you marry? You could have been free. Why did you,

if you regret it?" she said, getting up and running away into the

drawing room.

When he went to her, she was sobbing.

He began to speak, trying to find words not to dissuade but

simply to soothe her. But she did not heed him, and would not

agree to anything. He bent down to her and took her hand, which

resisted him. He kissed her hand, kissed her hair, kissed her

hand again--still she was silent. But when he took her face in

both his hands and said "Kitty!" she suddenly recovered herself,

and began to cry, and they were reconciled.

It was decided that they should go together the next day. Levin

told his wife that he believed she wanted to go simply in order

to be of use, agreed that Marya Nikolaevna's being with his

brother did not make her going improper, but he set off at the

bottom of his heart dissatisfied both with her and with himself.

He was dissatisfied with her for being unable to make up her mind

to let him go when it was necessary (and how strange it was for

him to think that he, so lately hardly daring to believe in such

happiness as that she could love him--now was unhappy because she

loved him too much!), and he was dissatisfied with himself for

not showing more strength of will. Even greater was the feeling

of disagreement at the bottom of his heart as to her not needing

to consider the woman who was with his brother, and he thought

with horror of all the contingencies they might meet with. The

mere idea of his wife, his Kitty, being in the same room with a

common wench, set him shuddering with horror and loathing.