Anna Karenina - Part 6 - Page 80/121

She made no answer, but simply gazed at him. He went on: "One day a son may be born, my son, and he will be legally a

Karenin; he will not be the heir of my name nor of my property,

and however happy we may be in our home life and however many

children we may have, there will be no real tie between us. They

will be Karenins. You can understand the bitterness and horror

of this position! I have tried to speak of this to Anna. It

irritates her. She does not understand, and to her I cannot

speak plainly of all this. Now look at another side. I am

happy, happy in her love, but I must have occupation. I have

found occupation, and am proud of what I am doing and consider it

nobler than the pursuits of my former companions at court and in

the army. And most certainly I would not change the work I am

doing for theirs. I am working here, settled in my own place,

and I am happy and contented, and we need nothing more to make

us happy. I love my work here. _Ce n'est pas un pis-aller,_

on the contrary..."

Darya Alexandrovna noticed that at this point in his explanation

he grew confused, and she did not quite understand this

digression, but she felt that having once begun to speak of

matters near his heart, of which he could not speak to Anna, he

was now making a clean breast of everything, and that the

question of his pursuits in the country fell into the same

category of matters near his heart, as the question of his

relations with Anna.

"Well, I will go on," he said, collecting himself. "The great

thing is that as I work I want to have a conviction that what I

am doing will not die with me, that I shall have heirs to come

after me,--and this I have not. Conceive the position of a man

who knows that his children, the children of the woman he loves,

will not be his, but will belong to someone who hates them and

cares nothing about them! It is awful!"

He paused, evidently much moved.

"Yes, indeed, I see that. But what can Anna do?" queried Darya

Alexandrovna.

"Yes, that brings me to the object of my conversation," he said,

calming himself with an effort. "Anna can, it depends on

her.... Even to petition the Tsar for legitimization, a divorce

is essential. And that depends on Anna. Her husband agreed to a

divorce--at that time your husband had arranged it completely.

And now, I know, he would not refuse it. It is only a matter of

writing to him. He said plainly at that time that if she

expressed the desire, he would not refuse. Of course," he said

gloomily, "it is one of those Pharisaical cruelties of which only

such heartless men are capable. He knows what agony any

recollection of him must give her, and knowing her, he must have

a letter from her. I can understand that it is agony to her.

But the matter is of such importance, that one must _passer

pardessus toutes ces finesses de sentiment. Il y va du bonheur

et de l'existence d'Anne et de ses enfants._ I won't speak of

myself, though it's hard for me, very hard," he said, with an

expression as though he were threatening someone for its being

hard for him. "And so it is, princess, that I am shamelessly

clutching at you as an anchor of salvation. Help me to persuade

her to write to him and ask for a divorce."