Anna Karenina - Part 6 - Page 91/121

"But that is just why a divorce is necessary." But Anna did not

hear her. She longed to give utterance to all the arguments with

which she had so many times convinced herself.

"What is reason given me for, if I am not to use it to avoid

bringing unhappy beings into the world!" She looked at Dolly,

but without waiting for a reply she went on: "I should always feel I had wronged these unhappy children," she

said. "If they are not, at any rate they are not unhappy; while

if they are unhappy, I alone should be to blame for it."

These were the very arguments Darya Alexandrovna had used in her

own reflections; but she heard them without understanding them.

"How can one wrong creatures that don't exist?" she thought. And

all at once the idea struck her: could it possibly, under any

circumstances, have been better for her favorite Grisha if he had

never existed? And this seemed to her so wild, so strange, that

she shook her head to drive away this tangle of whirling, mad

ideas.

"No, I don't know; it's not right," was all she said, with an

expression of disgust on her face.

"Yes, but you mustn't forget that you and I.... And besides

that," added Anna, in spite of the wealth of her arguments and

the poverty of Dolly's objections, seeming still to admit that it

was not right, "don't forget the chief point, that I am not now

in the same position as you. For you the question is: do you

desire not to have any more children; while for me it is: do I

desire to have them? And that's a great difference. You must

see that I can't desire it in my position."

Darya Alexandrovna made no reply. She suddenly felt that she had

got far away from Anna; that there lay between them a barrier of

questions on which they could never agree, and about which it was

better not to speak.