The Woman Who Did - Page 77/103

"Then you say no definitely?" Harvey Kynaston asked.

Herminia's voice quivered. "I say no definitely," she answered;

"unless you can consent to live with me on the terms on which I

lived with Dolly's father."

The man hesitated a moment. Then he began to plead hard for

reconsideration. But Herminia's mind was made up. She couldn't

belie her past; she couldn't be false to the principles for whose

sake she had staked and lost everything. "No, no," she said

firmly, over and over again. "You must take me my own way, or you

must go without me."

And Harvey Kynaston couldn't consent to take her her own way. His

faith was too weak, his ambitions were too earthly. "Herminia," he

said, before they parted that afternoon, "we may still be friends;

still dear friends as ever? This episode need make no difference

to a very close companionship?"

"It need make no difference," Herminia answered, with a light touch

of her hand. "Harvey, I have far too few friends in the world

willingly to give up one of them. Come again and go down with

Dolly and me to Hind Head as usual next Sunday."

"Thank you," the man answered. "Herminia, I wish it could have

been otherwise. But since I must never have you, I can promise you

one thing; I will never marry any other woman."

Herminia started at the words. "Oh, no," she cried quickly. "How

can you speak like that? How can you say anything so wrong, so

untrue, so foolish? To be celibate is a very great misfortune even

for a woman; for a man it is impossible, it is cruel, it is wicked.

I endure it myself, for my child's sake, and because I find it hard

to discover the help meet for me; or because, when discovered, he

refuses to accept me in the only way in which I can bestow myself.

But for a man to pretend to live celibate is to cloak hateful wrong

under a guise of respectability. I should be unhappy if I thought

any man was doing such a vicious thing out of desire to please me.

Take some other woman on free terms if you can; but if you cannot,

it is better you should marry than be a party to still deeper and

more loathsome slavery."

And from that day forth they were loyal friends, no more, one to

the other.