DECEMBER 15, 18--.
Dick has failed to meet his payment, and that after having borrowed of
me twenty thousand more! Is he a villain, and did he know all the time
that I was ruining myself? I cannot think so when I remember that look
on his face as he told me about it and swore to me solemnly that up to
the very last he fully expected relief from England, where he thought he
had a fortune.
"If I live I will pay you some time," he said; but that does not help me
now. I am a ruined man. Elmwood must be sold, and I must work to earn my
daily bread. For myself I would not mind it much, and Fan, who,
woman-like, saw it in the distance and warned me of it, behaves nobly;
but it falls hard on Daisy.
Poor Daisy! She never said a word when I told her the exact truth, but
she went to bed and cried for one whole day. I am so glad I settled that
ten thousand on her when we were married. No one can touch that, and I
told her so; but she did not say a word or seem to know what I meant.
Talking or expressing her opinion was never in her line, and she has not
of her own accord spoken with me on the subject, and when I try to talk
with her about our future she shudders and cries, and says, "Please
don't! I can't bear it. I want to go home to mother!"
And so it was settled that while we are arranging matters she is to
visit her mother and perhaps not return till spring, when I hope to be
in a better condition financially than I am at present.
One thing Daisy said, which hurt me cruelly, and that was: "If I must
marry poor, I might as well have married Cousin Tom, who wanted me so
badly!" To do her justice, however, she added immediately: "But I like
you the best."
I am glad she said that. It will be something to remember when she is
gone, or rather when I return without her, as I am going to Indianapolis
with her, and then back to the dreary business of seeing what I have
left and what I can do. I have an offer for the house, and shall sell at
once; but where my home will be next, I do not know, neither would I
care so much if it were not for Daisy--poor little Daisy!--who thought
she had married a rich man. The only tears I have shed over my lost
fortune were for her. Oh, Daisy, Daisy!