Aikenside - Page 139/166

"Yes, I'll do anything, only please leave me now," Maddy gasped, her

face as white as ashes and her eyes fixed pleadingly upon Mrs. Green,

who, having been young herself, guessed the truth, and, as she arose

to go, laid her motherly hand on Maddy's head, saving kindly: "Poor child, it's hard to bear now, but you'll get over it in time."

"Get over it," Maddy moaned, as she shut and bolted the door after

Mrs. Green, and then threw herself upon the bed, "I never shall till I

die."

She almost felt that she was dying then, so desolate and so dreary the

future looked to her. What was life worth without Guy, and why had she

been thrown so much in his way; why permitted to love him as she knew

she did, if she must lose him now? Maddy could not cry; there was a

tightness about her eyes, and a keen, cutting pain about her heart as

she tried to pray for strength to do what was right--strength to cast

Guy Remington from her heart where it was a sin for him to be; and

then she asked to be forgiven for the wrong she had unwittingly done

to Lucy Atherstone, who trusted implicitly, and who, in her last

letter, had said: "If I had not so much faith in Guy I should be jealous of one who has

so many opportunities for stealing his heart from me. But I trust you,

Maddy Clyde. You would not do a thing to harm me, I am sure, and to

lose Guy now, after these years of cruel waiting, would kill me."

Sweet Lucy, there was in her heart a faint stirring of fear lest

Maddy Clyde might be a shadow in her pathway, else she had never

written that to her. But Lucy's cause was safe in Maddy's hands.

Always too high-souled to do a treacherous act, she was now sustained

by another and holier principle, which of itself would have kept her

from the wrong. But for a few moments Maddy abandoned herself to the

bliss of fancying what it would be to be loved by Guy Remington, even

as she loved him. And as she thought, there crept into her heart the

certainty that in some degree he did love her; that his friendship was

more than a mere liking for the girl to whom he had been so kind. In

Lucy's absence she was essential to his happiness, and that was why he

sought her society so much. Remembering everything that had passed,

but more particularly the incidents of that memorable night ride to

Honedale with all that had followed since, she could not doubt it, and

softly to herself she whispered, "He loves me, he loves me," while

little throbs of joy beat all over her heart; but only for an instant,

and then the note of joy was changed to sorrow as she thought how she

must henceforth seek to kill that love, both for her own sake and

Lucy's. Guy must not come there any more. She could not bear it now,

even if the neighbors had never meddled with her. She could not see

him as she had done, and not betray her real feelings toward him. He

had been there that day; he would come again tomorrow. She could see

him now just as he would look coming up the walk, easy and self-

possessed, confident of his reception, his handsome face beaming all

over with kind thoughtfulness for her, and his voice full of tender

concern as he asked how she was, and bade Flora see that she did not

overtax herself, and all this must cease. She had seen it, heard it

for the last time. No wonder that Maddy's heart fainted within her, as

she thought how desolate, how dreary would be the days when Guy no

longer came. But the victory was gained at last, and strength imparted

for the task she had to do.