The New Magdalen - Page 181/209

"You will forgive and understand me if I say no more of this period of

my life. Let me pass to the new incident in my career which brought me

for the second time before the public notice in a court of law.

"Sad as my experience has been, it has not taught me to think ill

of human nature. I had found kind hearts to feel for me in my

former troubles; and I had friends--faithful, self-denying, generous

friends--among my sisters in adversity now. One of these poor women (she

has gone, I am glad to think, from the world that used her so hardly)

especially attracted my sympathies. She was the gentlest, the most

unselfish creature I have ever met with. We lived together like sisters.

More than once in the dark hours when the thought of self-destruction

comes to a desperate woman, the image of my poor devoted friend, left

to suffer alone, rose in my mind and restrained me. You will hardly

understand it, but even we had our happy days. When she or I had a few

shillings to spare, we used to offer one another little presents, and

enjoy our simple pleasure in giving and receiving as keenly as if we had

been the most reputable women living.

"One day I took my friend into a shop to buy her a ribbon--only a bow

for her dress. She was to choose it, and I was to pay for it, and it was

to be the prettiest ribbon that money could buy.

"The shop was full; we had to wait a little before we could be served.

"Next to me, as I stood at the counter with my companion, was a

gaudily-dressed woman, looking at some handkerchiefs. The handkerchiefs

were finely embroidered, but the smart lady was hard to please. She

tumbled them up disdainfully in a heap, and asked for other specimens

from the stock in the shop. The man, in clearing the handkerchiefs

out of the way, suddenly missed one. He was quite sure of it, from a

peculiarity in the embroidery which made the handkerchief especially

noticeable. I was poorly dressed, and I was close to the handkerchiefs.

After one look at me he shouted to the superintendent: 'Shut the door!

There is a thief in the shop!' "The door was closed; the lost handkerchief was vainly sought for on

the counter and on the floor. A robbery had been committed; and I was

accused of being the thief.

"I will say nothing of what I felt--I will only tell you what happened.

"I was searched, and the handkerchief was discovered on me. The woman

who had stood next to me, on finding herself threatened with discovery,

had no doubt contrived to slip the stolen handkerchief into my pocket.

Only an accomplished thief could have escaped detection in that way

without my knowledge. It was useless, in the face of the facts, to

declare my innocence. I had no character to appeal to. My friend tried

to speak for me; but what was she? Only a lost woman like myself. My

landlady's evidence in favor of my honesty produced no effect; it

was against her that she let lodgings to people in my position. I was

prosecuted, and found guilty. The tale of my disgrace is now complete,

Mr. Holmcroft. No matter whether I was innocent or not, the shame of it

remains--I have been imprisoned for theft.