Lady Wolfer rose abruptly and, with a short, hard laugh, began to pace
up and down the room.
"He does not care in the least!" she said, in a harsh, strained voice.
"Why did you come in to-night? I wish you hadn't! I--I wanted to be
alone. No, do not go! Stay, now you are here," for Nell had moved to
the door. She went back and laid her hand on the unhappy woman's arm.
"Won't you tell me what is the matter?" she said.
Lady Wolfer stopped and sank into the chair again.
"I'm almost tempted to!" she said, with a reckless laugh. "It might be
useful to you--as a 'frightful example,' as the temperance people say.
Oh, don't you know? You are young and innocent, Nell, but--but you
cannot fail to have seen how wretched I am! Nell, you are not only young
and innocent, but beautiful. You have all your life before you--you,
too, will have to choose your fate--for we do choose it! Don't wreck
your life as I have wrecked mine; don't, don't marry a man who does not
love you--as I did!"
"Hush!" said Nell, startled and shocked. "You are wrong, quite wrong!"
Lady Wolfer laughed bitterly.
"I've said too much; I may as well tell you all," she said, with a shrug
of her white shoulders. "It was a marriage of convenience. We--my
people--were poor, and it was a great match for me. There was no talk of
love--love!" She laughed again, and the laugh made Nell wince. "It was
just a bargain. Such bargains are made every day in this vile marriage
market of ours. I was as innocent as you, Nell. The glitter of the
thing--the title, the big house, the position--dazzled me. I thought I
should be more contented and satisfied. Other girls have done the same
thing, and they seemed happy enough. But I suppose I am different. I
wearied of the whole thing--the title, the big house, the diamonds,
everything--before the first month. I wanted something else; I scarcely
knew what----Ah, yes, I did! I did! I wanted love--the thing they all
laugh and sneer at! I had sold myself for gold and place and power, and
when I had gotten them they all turned to Dead Sea fruit, dust and
ashes, on my lips!"
She gripped her hands tightly, and bent lower over the fire, and Nell
sank on her knees beside her, pale herself, and incapable of speech.
"For a time I tried to bear it, to live the weary, dragging life; then,
when I was nearly mad--I tried to find relief in the world outside my
own home. I was supposed to be clever--clever! I could write and talk. I
took up this woman's rights business!" She laughed again. "All the time
they were lauding me to the skies and flattering and fooling me, I knew
how stupid the whole thing was. But it seemed the only chance for me,
the only way of forgetting myself and--and my slavery. At any rate, it
served as an excuse for getting out of the house, for not inflicting my
presence upon the man who had bought me, and who regarded me simply as
the figurehead for his table, the person to receive his guests and play
the necessary part in his public life."