Englishwoman's Love Letters - Page 25/59

Beloved, that I can write so to you,--think what it means; what you have

made me come through in the way of love, that this, which I could not have

dreamed before, comes from me with the thought of you! You told me to be

still--to let you "worship": I was to write back acceptance of all your

dear words. Are you never to be at my feet, you ask. Indeed, dearest, I do

not know how, for I cannot move from where I am! Do you feel where my

thoughts kiss you? You would be vexed with me if I wrote it down, so I do

not. And after all, some day, under a bright star of Providence, I may

have gifts for you after my own mind which will allow me to grow proud.

Only now all the giving comes from you. It is I who am enriched by your

love, beyond knowledge of my former self. Are you changed, dearest, by

anything I have done?

My heart goes to you like a tree in the wind, and all these thoughts are

loose leaves that fly after you when I have to remain behind. Dear lover,

what short visits yours seem! and the Mother-Aunt tells me they are most

unconscionably long.--You will not pay any attention to that, please:

forever let the heavens fall rather than that a hint to such foul effect

should grow operative through me!

This brings you me so far as it can:--such little words off so great a

body of--"liking" shall I call it? My paper stops me: it is my last sheet:

I should have to go down to the library to get more--else I think I could

not cease writing.

More love than I can name.--Ever, dearest, your own.