Englishwoman's Love Letters - Page 46/59

Well, if you will be so "charming," I am helpless: and can do nothing,

nothing, but pray for the blue-moon to rise, and love you a little better

because you have some of that divine foolishness which strikes the very

wise ones of earth, and makes them kin to weaker mortals who otherwise

might miss their "charm" altogether.

Truly, Beloved, if I am happy, it is because I am also your most patiently

loving.

R.

Beloved: The certainty which I have now that you love me so fills all my

thoughts, I cannot understand you being in any doubt on your side. What

must I do that I do not do, to show gladness when we meet and sorrow when

we have to part? I am sure that I make no pretense or disguise, except

that I do not stand and wring my hands before all the world, and cry

"Don't go!"--which has sometimes been in my mind, to be kept not said!

Indeed, I think so much of you, my dear, that I believe some day, if you

do your part, you will only have to look up from your books to find me

standing. If you did, would you still be in doubt whether I loved you?

Oh, if any apparition of me ever goes to you, all my thoughts will surely

look truthfully out of its eyes; and even you will read what is there at

last!

Beloved, I kiss your blind eyes, and love them the better for all their

unreadiness to see that I am already their slave. Not a day now but I

think I may see you again: I am in a golden uncertainty from hour to hour.

I love you: you love me: a mist of blessing swims over my eyes as I write

the words, till they become one and the same thing: I can no longer divide

their meaning in my mind. Amen: there is no need that I should.

S.

Beloved: I have not written to you for quite a long time: ah, I could not.

I have nothing now to say! I think I could very easily die of this great

happiness, so certainly do you love me! Just a breath more of it and I

should be gone.

Good-by, dearest, and good-by, and good-by! If you want letters from me

now, you must ask for them! That the earth contains us both, and that we

love each other, is about all that I have mind enough to take in. I do not

think I can love you more than I do: you are no longer my dream but my

great waking thought. I am waiting for no blue-moonrise now: my heart has

not a wish which you do not fulfill. I owe you my whole life, and for any

good to you must pay it out to the last farthing, and still feel myself

your debtor.