Looking back on all this, it seems that I came very near losing
my reason, for I had then by no means recovered from Black
George's fist, and indeed even now I am at times not wholly free
from its effect.
My sleep, too, was often broken and troubled with wild dreams, so
that bed became a place of horror, and, rising, I would sit before
the empty hearth, a candle guttering at my elbow, and think of
Charmian until I would fancy I heard the rustle of her garments
behind me, and start up, trembling and breathless; at such times
the tap of a blown leaf against the lattice would fill me with a
fever of hope and expectation. Often and often her soft laugh
stole to me in the gurgle of the brook, and she would call to me
in the deep night silences in a voice very sweet, and faint, and
far away. Then I would plunge out into the dark, and lift my
hands to the stars that winked upon my agony, and journey on through
a desolate world, to return with the dawn, weary and despondent.
It was after one of these wild night expeditions that I sat
beneath a tree, watching the sunrise. And yet I think I must
have dozed, for I was startled by a voice close above me, and,
glancing up, I recognized the little Preacher. As our eyes met
he immediately took the pipe from his lips, and made as though to
cram it into his pocket.
"Though, indeed, it is empty!" he explained, as though I had
spoken. "Old habits cling to one, young sir, and my pipe, here,
has been the friend of my solitude these many years, and I cannot
bear to turn my back upon it yet, so I carry it with me still,
and sometimes, when at all thoughtful, I find it between my lips.
But though the flesh, as you see, is very weak, I hope, in time,
to forego even this," and he sighed, shaking his head in gentle
deprecation of himself. "But you look pale--haggard," he went
on; "you are ill, young sir!"
"No, no," said I, springing to my feet; "look at this arm, is it
the arm of a sick man? No, no--I am well enough, but what of him
we found in the ditch, you and I--the miserable creature who lay
bubbling in the grass?"
"He has been very near death, sir--indeed his days are numbered,
I think, yet he is better, for the time being, and last night
declared his intention of leaving the shelter of my humble roof
and setting forth upon his mission."