Clara Hopgood - Page 14/105

'What makes you stay in Fenmarket, Mrs Hopgood? How I wish you would

come to London!'

'I do not wish to leave it now; I have become attached to it; I have

very few friends in London, and lastly, perhaps the most convincing

reason, I could not afford it. Rent and living are cheaper here than

in town.'

'Would you not like to live in London, Miss Hopgood?' Clara hesitated for a few seconds.

'I am not sure--certainly not by myself. I was in London once for

six months as a governess in a very pleasant family, where I saw much

society; but I was glad to return to Fenmarket.'

'To the scenery round Fenmarket,' interrupted Madge; 'it is so

romantic, so mountainous, so interesting in every way.'

'I was thinking of people, strange as it may appear. In London

nobody really cares for anybody, at least, not in the sense in which

I should use the words. Men and women in London stand for certain

talents, and are valued often very highly for them, but they are

valued merely as representing these talents. Now, if I had a talent,

I should not be satisfied with admiration or respect because of it.

No matter what admiration, or respect, or even enthusiasm I might

evoke, even if I were told that my services had been immense and that

life had been changed through my instrumentality, I should feel the

lack of quiet, personal affection, and that, I believe, is not common

in London. If I were famous, I would sacrifice all the adoration of

the world for the love of a brother--if I had one--or a sister, who

perhaps had never heard what it was which had made me renowned.'

'Certainly,' said Madge, laughing, 'for the love of such a sister.

But, Mr Palmer, I like London. I like the people, just the people,

although I do not know a soul, and not a soul cares a brass farthing

about me. I am not half so stupid in London as in the country. I

never have a thought of my own down here. How should I? But in

London there is plenty of talk about all kinds of things, and I find

I too have something in me. It is true, as Clara says, that nobody

is anything particular to anybody, but that to me is rather pleasant.

I do not want too much of profound and eternal attachments. They are

rather a burden. They involve profound and eternal attachment on my

part; and I have always to be at my best; such watchfulness and such

jealousy! I prefer a dressing-gown and slippers and bonds which are

not so tight.'