Subsequent reflection, while it showed me the brutality of my
conduct to Julia, opened my eyes to the true meaning of her mother's
interdiction; and increased the pang of those bitter feelings,
which my conscious dependence had awakened in my breast, it was
necessary that this dependence should be lessened; that, as I was
now approaching manhood, I should cast about for the future, and
adopt wisely and at once the means of my support hereafter. It was
necessary that I should begin the business of life. On this head
I had already reflected somewhat, and my thoughts had taken their
direction from more than one conference which I had had with William
Edgerton. His father was an eminent lawyer, and the law had been
adopted for his profession also. I determined to make it mine;
and to speak on this subject to my uncle. This I did. I chose an
afternoon, the very week in which my conversation had taken place
with Julia, and, while the dinner things were undergoing removal,
with some formality requested a private interview with him. He looked
round at me with a raised brow of inquiry--nodded his head--and
shortly after rose from the table. My aunt stared with an air of
supercilious wonder; while poor Julia, timid and trembling, barely
ventured to give me a single look, which said--and that was enough
for me--"I wish I dared say more."
My conference with my uncle was not of long duration. I told
him it was my purpose--my desire--to begin as soon as possible to
do something for myself. His answer signified that such was his
opinion also. So far we were agreed; but when I told him that it
was my wish to study the law, he answered with sufficient, and as
I thought, scornful abruptness:-"The law, indeed! What puts the law into your head? What preparations
have you made to study the law? You know nothing of languages which
every lawyer should know--Latin--"
I interrupted him to say that I had some slight knowledge of
Latin--sufficient, I fancied, for all legal purposes.
"Ah! indeed! where did you get it?"
"A friend lent me a grammar and dictionary, and I studied myself."
"Oh, you are ambitious; but you deceive yourself. You were never
made for a lawyer. Besides, how are you to live while prosecuting
your studies? No, no! I have been thinking of something for you,
Edward--and, just now, it happens fortunately that old Squire
Farmer, the bricklayer, wants some apprentices--"
I could scarcely listen thus far.
"I thank you, sir, but I have no disposition to be a bricklayer."