Confession - Page 219/274

"There it is!" I exclaimed, laughingly. "You blow hot and cold.

You would have me go and stay."

"Take the cigar, at least, and smoke it as you go. My advice is

good, and that it is honest you may infer from my reluctance to

part with you. I will see you at the office at nine in the morning.

There is some prospect of a compromise with Jeffords about the tract

in Dallas, and he is to meet Wharton and myself at your law-shop

to-morrow. It is important to make an arrangement with Jeffords--his

example will be felt by Brownsell and Gibbon. We may escape a

long-winded lawsuit, after all, to your great discomfiture and my

gain. But you do not hear me!"

"Yes, yes, every word--you spoke of Jeffords, and Wharton, and

Gibbon--yes, I heard you."

"Now I know that you did not hear me--not understandingly, at

least. I should not be surprised if I have made you jealous. You

look wild, mon ami!"

"Jealous, indeed! what nonsense!" and I prepared to depart when

I had thus spoken.

"Well, at nine you must meet us at the office. My business must

not suffer because you are jealous."

"Come, no more of that, Kingsley!"

"By heavens, you are touched."

He laughed merrily. I laughed also, but with a choking effort

which almost cost me a convulsion as I left the tavern. The sport

of Kingsley was my death. What he had said previously sunk deep

into my soul. Not rightly--not as it should have sunk--showing me

the folly of my own course without assuming, as I did, the inevitable

wilfulness of the course of others; but actually confirming me in

my fears--nay, making them grow hideous as THINGS and substantive

convictions. It seemed to me, from what Kingsley said that I was

already dishonored--that the world already knew my shame; and that

he, as my friend, had only employed an ambiguous language to soften

the sting and the shock which his revelations must necessarily

occasion. With this new notion, which occurred to me after leaving

the house, I instantly returned to it. It required a strong effort

to seem deliberate in what I spoke.

"Kingsley," I said, "perhaps I did not pay sufficient heed to your

observations. Do you mean to convey to my mind the idea that people

think Edgerton too familiar with my wife? Do you mean to say that

such a notion is abroad? That there is anything wrong?"

"By no means."

"Ah! then there is nothing in it. I see no reason for suspicion.

I am not a jealous man; but it becomes necessary when one's neighbors

find occasion to look into one's business, to look a little into

it one's self."

"One must not wait for that," said Kingsley; "but where is your

cigar?"