Confession - Page 236/274

"She would disguise her anxiety, that you should be gone. Leave

her, and in twenty minutes she and Edgerton will be together."

Such was the whisper of my demon. I did leave her. I went forth for

an hour into the woods--returned suddenly and found them together!

They were playing chess, Mrs. Porterfield, with all her spectacles,

watching the game. I did not ask, and did not know, till afterward,

that the express solicitation of the old lady had drawn her from

her chamber, and placed her at the table. The conjecture of the

evil spirit proved so far correct, and this increased my confidence

in his whispers. Alas! how readily do we yield our faith to the

spirit of hate! how slow to believe the pure and gentle assurances

of love!

Three days passed after this fashion. Edgerton no longer expressed

indisposition, yet he made no offer to depart. I took care that

neither word nor action should remind him of his trespass. I gave

the parties every opportunity, and exhibited the manner of an

indifference which was free from all disquiet--all suspicion. The

sadness, meanwhile, increased upon the countenance of Julia. She

gazed at me in particular with a look of earnestness amounting to

distress. This I ascribed to the strength of her passions. There

was even at moments a harshness in her tones when addressing me

now, which was unusual to her. I found some reason for this, equally

unfavorable to her fidelity. After dinner I said to Edgerton:-"You are scarcely strong enough for a bout at the bottle. I take

wine with Kingsley this afternoon. He has commissioned me to ask

you."

"I dare not venture, but that should not keep you away."

"It will not," I said indifferently.

"Thank him for me, if you please, but tell him it will not do for

one so much an invalid as myself."

"Very good!" and I left him, and joined Kingsley. The business of

this friend being now in a fair train for final adjustment, he was

preparing for his return to Texas. He had not been at my lodgings

since Edgerton's arrival in M--, but we had seen each other,

nevertheless, almost every day at his or at my office. Our afternoon

was rather merry than cheerful. Heaven knows I was in no mood to

be a bon compagnon, but I took sufficient pains that Kingsley should

not suspect I had any reasons for being otherwise. I had my jest--I

emptied my bottle--I said my good things, and seemed to say them

without effort. Kingsley, always cheerful and strong-minded, was

in his best vein, and mingling wit and reflection happily together,

maintained the ball of conversation with equal ease and felicity.

He had the happy knack of saying happy things quietly--of waiting

for, and returning the ball, without running after it. At another

time, I should have been content simply to have provoked him. Now,

I was quite too miserable not to seek employment; and to disguise

feelings, which I should have been ashamed to expose, I contrived

to take the lead and almost grew voluble in the frequency

of my utterance. Perhaps, if Kingsley failed in any respect as a

philosopher, it was in forbearing to look with sufficient keenness

of observation into the heart of his neighbor. He evidently did

not see into mine. He was deceived by my manner. He credited all

my fun to good faith, and gravely pronounced me to be a fortunate

fellow.