My face burned like fire. My eyes were fixed upon the table. I
dared not look upon my companion. When I spoke, I felt a choking
difficulty in my utterance which compelled me to speak loud to be
understood, and which yet left my speech thick, husky, and unnatural.
"Say no more, Kingsley. What you have said disturbs me Nay, I
acknowledge, I have been disturbed before. Perhaps, indeed, I know
more than yourself. Time will show. At all events, be sure of one
thing. These opportunities, if what you say he true, afford an
ordeal through which it is necessary that the parties should now
go--if it be only to afford the necessary degree of relief to my
mind. Enough has been seen to excite suspicion--enough has been
done, you yourself think, to awaken the feelings of my wife. Those
feelings must now be tried. Opportunity will do this. She must
go through the trial. I am not blind as you suppose. Nay, I am
watchful, and I tell you, Kingsley, that the time approaches when
all my doubts must cease one way or the other."
"But I still think, Clifford--" he began.
"No more, Kingsley. I tell you, matters must go on. Edgerton can now
only be driven from my house by my wife. If she expels him, I shall
be too happy not to forgive him. But if she makes it necessary that
the expulsion shall be effected by my hands, and with violence--God
have mercy upon both of them for I shall not. Good night!"
"But why will you go? Stay awhile longer. Be not rash--do nothing
precipitately, Clifford."
I smiled bitterly in replying:-"You need not fear me. Have I not proved myself patient--patient
until you pronounced me cold and indifferent? Why should you suppose
that, having waited and forborne so long I should be guilty of
rashness now? No, Kingsley! My wife is very dear to me--how dear
I will not say; I will be deliberate for her sake--for my own. I
will be sure, very sure--quite sure;--but, once sure!--Good night."
Kingsley followed me to the door. His last injunctions exhorted me
to forbearance and deliberation. I silenced them by a significant
repetition of the single words, "Good night--good night!" and
hurried, with every feeling of anxiety and jealousy awakened, in
the direction of my cottage.