Confession - Page 244/274

In silence she suffered me to leave her for the breakfast-table.

She looked, it is true--but what had I to do with looks, however

earnest and devoted? I went from her slowly. When on the stairs,

fancying I had heard her voice, I returned, but she had not called

me. She was still silent. Full of sadness I left her, counting

slowly and sadly every step which I took from her presence.

Edgerton was already at table. He looked very wretched I observed

him closely. His eye shrunk from the encounter of mine. His looks

answered sufficiently for his guilt. I said to him:-"I have to ride out a little ways in the country this morning, and

count upon your company. I trust you feel well enough to go with

me? Indeed, it will do you good."

Of course, my language and manner were stripped of everything that

might alarm his fears. He hesitated, but complied. The carriage

was at the door before we had finished breakfast; and with no

other object than simply to afford her another opportunity for the

desired revelation, I once more went up to my wife's chamber. Here

I lingered fully ten minutes, affecting to search for a paper in

trunks where I knew it could not be found. While thus engaged I

spoke to her frequently and fondly. She did not need the impulse

to make her revelation, except in her own heart. The occasion was

unemployed. She suffered me once more to depart in silence; and

this time I felt as if the word of utter and inevitable wo had been

spoken. The hour had gone by for ever. I could no longer resist

the conviction of her shameless guilt. All her sighs and tears,

professions of love and devotion, the fond tenacity of her embrace,

the deep-seated earnestness and significance in her looks--all went

for nothing in her failure to utter the one only, and all-important

communication.

Let no woman, on any pretext, however specious, deceive herself

with the fatal error, that she can safely harbor, unspoken to her

husband, the secret of any insult, or base approach, of another to

herself!