Confession - Page 54/274

"You are a queer fellow in your notions, Clifford, and I can not

say that I altogether understand you; but you must certainly ride

out with me this afternoon, and bark a tree. It will do no hurt to

a determined man to be a skilful one also."

"I see no use in it."

"Why--what if you should wish to wing him?"

"I think I can do it without practice. But I have no such desire."

"Really you are unnecessarily magnanimous. You may be put to it,

however. Should the first shot be ineffectual and he should demand

a second, would you throw away that also?"

"No! I should then try to shoot him. As my simple aim is to secure

myself from persecution, which is usually the most effectual mode

of destroying a young man in this country, I should resort only to

such a course as would be likely to yield me this security. That

failing, I should employ stronger measures; precisely as a nation

would do in a similar conflict with another nation. One must not

suffer himself to be destroyed or driven into exile. This is the

first law of nature--this of self-preservation. In maintaining

this law, a man must do any or all things which in his deliberate

judgment, will be effectual for the end proposed. Were I fighting

with savages, for example, and knew that they regarded their scalps

with more reverence than their lives, I should certainly scalp as

well as slay."

"They would call that barbarous?"

"Ay, no doubt; particularly in those countries where they paid

from five to fifty, and even one hundred pounds to one Indian for

the scalp of his brother, until they rid themselves of both. But see

you not that the scalping process, as it produces the most terror

and annoyance, is decidedly the most merciful, as being most likely

to discourage and deter from war. If the scalp could bo taken from

the head of every Seminole shot down, be sure the survivors never

after would have come within range of rifle-shot."

But these discussions gave way to the business before me. Kingsley

left me to myself, and though sad and serious with oppressive

thoughts, I still had enough of the old habits, dominant with me,

to go to my daily concerns, and arrange my papers with considerable

industry and customary method. My professional business was set

in order, and Edgerton duly initiated in the knowledge of all such

portions as needed explanation. This done, I sat down and wrote

a long farewell letter to Julia, and one, more brief, but renewing

the counsel I had previously given to her father, in respect to the

suit against him. These letters were so disposed as to be sent in

the event of my falling in the fight. The interval which followed

was not so easy to be borne. Conscience and reflection were equally

busy, and unpleasantly so. I longed for the time of action which

should silence these unpleasant monitors.