By degrees there came a change. As I said, I was admired. At
first I cared little for any eyes but those which could not
see me; but that did not last. I began to like to be admired.
Soon after that, it dimly dawned upon me, that some of those
whom I saw now every day, might come to admire me too much. I
had learnt a lesson. There were several gentlemen, whose
society I liked very well, who gave us, I began to perceive, a
great deal of it. I saw them at night; I saw them by day; they
met us in our walks; they even joined us in our rides. One was
a German; a very cultivated and agreeable talker, well-bred,
and in high position at Florence. Another was a delightful
Italian; poor I think. A third was a young English nobleman;
rich, but nothing more that I could discover. The German
talked to me; the Italian sang with me; the Englishman
followed me, and was most at home in our house of them all. I
had been taking the good of all this, in a nice society way,
enjoying the music and the talk and the information I got from
the two first, and I am afraid enjoying too the flowers and
the attentions of the third, as well as of still others whom I
have not mentioned. I was floating down a stream and I had not
thought about it, only enjoyed in a careless way; till a
little thing startled me.
"We do not have so much time for our walks as we used, Daisy,"
papa said one day when he came into the drawing-room and found
me with my habit on. "Where are you going now?"
"To ride, papa, with Lord Montjoy."
"My Daisy is not a daisy any longer," said papa, folding me in
his arms. "She has grown into a white camellia. Going to ride
with Lord Montjoy! -"
I cannot say what in these last words of papa gave me a whole
revelation.
"I think you are mistaken, papa," I said. "I am Daisy yet."
"I was mistaken," said papa smiling, but rather shadowedly, I
thought; - "I should have said a rose camellia. Here is Lord
Montjoy, my dear. Go."
I am sure Lord Montjoy had little satisfaction in that ride;
at least I am sure I had little. I was longing for time to
think, and frightened besides. But when the ride was over,
mamma wanted me; the evening claimed me for a grand reception;
the morning held me in sleep; we had company at luncheon; I
was engaged with another riding party in the afternoon, and
another assembly expected me at night. I could not rest or
think, as I wanted to think, till night and morning had again
two or three times tossed me about as a society ball. I think
one's mind gets to be something like a ball too, when one
lives such a life; all one's better thoughts rolled up, like a
hybernating hedgehog, and put away as not wanted for use. I
had no opportunity to unroll mine for several days.