It was thoroughly done at last. I gave up myself to God again
and my affairs; and the rest that is unknown anywhere else,
came to me at His feet. I gave up being jealous of Faustina.
If the Lord pleased that she should have what had been so
precious to me, why, well! I gave it up. But not till I was
sure I had cause.
What a lull came upon my harassed and tossed spirit, which had
been like a stormy sea under cross winds. Now it lay still,
and could catch the reflection of the sun again and the blue
of heaven. I could go into society now and please mamma, and
read at home to papa and give him the wonted gratification;
and I could meet Faustina with an open brow and a free hand.
"Daisy, you are better this day or two," papa said to me,
wistfully. "You are like yourself. What is it, my child?"
"It is Christ, my Lord, papa."
"I do not know what you can mean by that, Daisy," said papa,
looking grave. "You are not an enthusiast or a fanatic."
"It is not enthusiasm, papa, to believe God's promises. It
can't be fanaticism, to be glad of them."
"Promises?" said papa. "What are you talking of?"
"Papa, I am a servant of Christ," I said; I remember I was
arranging the sticks of wood on the fire as I spoke, and it
made pauses between my words; - "and He has promised to take
care of His servants and to let no harm come to them, - no
real harm; - how can I be afraid, papa? My Lord knows, - He
knows all about it and all about me; I am safe; I have nothing
to do to be afraid."
"Safe from what?"
"Not from trouble, papa; I do not mean that. He may see that
it is best that trouble should come to me. But it will not
come unless He sees that it is best; and I can trust Him."
"My dear child, is there not a little fanaticism there?"
"How, papa?"
"It seems to me to sound like it."
"It is nothing but believing God, papa."
"I wish I understood you," said papa, thoughtfully.
So I knelt down beside him and put my arms about him, and told
him what I wanted him to understand; much more than I had ever
been able to do before. The pain and sorrow of the past few
weeks had set me free, and the rest of heart of the last few
days too. I told papa all about it. I think, as Philip did to
Queen Candace's servant, I "preached to him Jesus."
"So that is what you mean by being a Christian," said papa at
last. "It is not living a good moral life and keeping all
one's engagements."