"Do you remember the night I got a hundred dollars from you? And later
on, that I asked you for work in your mill for the girl I got it for?"
"Do you mean?" He looked at her in surprise.
"That was the girl. You see, she rather holds onto me. It's awful in a
way, too. It looks as though I am posing as magnanimous. I'm not, Clay.
If I had cared awfully it would have been different. But then, if I had
cared awfully, perhaps it would never have happened."
"You have nothing to blame yourself for, Audrey."
"Well, I do, rather. But that's not the point. Sometimes when I am alone
I have wicked thoughts, you know, Clay. I'm reckless, and sometimes I
think maybe there is only one life, and why not get happiness out of
it. I realize that, but for some little kink in my brain, I might be in
Clare's position. So I don't turn her out. She's a poor, cheap thing,
but--well, she is fond of me. If I had children--it's funny, but I
rather mother her! And she's straight now, straight as a string!"
She was sensitive to his every thought, and she knew by the very change
in the angle of his head that he was thinking that over and not entirely
approving. But he said finally: "You're a big woman, Audrey."
"But you don't like it!"
"I don't like her troubling you."
"Troubling me! She doesn't borrow money, you know. Why, she makes more
money from your plant than I have to live on! And she brings me presents
of flowers and the most awful embroidery, that she does herself."
"You ought not to know that side of life."
She laughed a little bitterly.
"Not know it!" she said. "I've had to know it. I learned it pretty well,
too. And don't make any mistake, Clay." She looked up at him with her
clear, understanding gaze. "Being good, decent, with a lot of people is
only the lack of temptation. Only, thank God, there are some who have
the strength to withstand it when it comes."
And he read in her clear eyes her promise and her understanding; that
they loved each other, that it was the one big thing in both their
lives, but that between them there would be only the secret inner
knowledge of that love. There would be no shipwreck. And for what she
gave, she demanded his strength and his promise. It was to what he read
in her face, not to her words, that he replied: "I'll do my very best, Audrey dear."