When a Man Marries - Page 36/121

It was Betty Mercer who said she was hungry, and got us switched from

the delicate subject of which was the thief to the quite as pressing

subject of which was to be cook. Aunt Selina had slept quietly through

the whole thing--we learned afterward that she customarily slept on her

left side, which was on her good ear. We gathered in the Dallas Browns'

room, and Jimmy proposed a plan.

"We can have anything sent in that we want," he suggested speciously,

"and if Dal doesn't make good with the city fathers, you girls can

get some clothes anyhow. Then, we can have dinner sent from one of the

hotels."

"Why not all the meals?" Max suggested. "I hope you're not going to be

small about things, Jimmy."

"It ought to be easy," Jim persisted, ignoring the remark, "for nine

reasonably intelligent people to boil eggs and make coffee, which is all

we need for breakfast, with some fruit."

"Nine of us!" Dallas said wickedly, looking at Tom Harbison, who was

out of earshot, "Why nine of us? I thought Kit here, otherwise known as

Bella, was going to show off her housewifely skill."

It ended, however, with Mr. Harbison writing out a lot of slips, cook,

scullery-maid, chamber-maid, parlor-maid, furnace-man, and butler, and

as that left two people over--we didn't count Aunt Selina--he added

another furnace-man and a trained nurse. Betty Mercer drew the trained

nurse slip, and, of course, she was delighted. It seems funny now to

look back and think what a dreadful time she really had, for Aunt Selina

took the grippe, you know, that very day.

It was fate that I should go back to that awful kitchen, for of course

my slip said "cook." Mr. Harbison was butler, and Max and Dal got the

furnace, although neither of them had ever been nearer to a bucket of

coal than the coupons on mining stock. Anne got the bedrooms, and Leila

was parlor-maid. It was Jimmy who got the scullery work, but he was

quite crushed by this time, and did not protest at all.

Max was in a very bad temper; I suppose he had not had enough sleep--no

one had. But he came over while the lottery was going on and stood over

me and demanded unpleasantly, in a whisper, that I stop masquerading as

another man's wife and generally making a fool of myself--which is the

way he put it. And I knew in my heart that he was right, and I hated him

for it.

"Why don't you go and tell him--them?" I asked nastily. No one was

paying any attention to us. "Tell them that, to be obliging, I have

nearly drowned in a sea of lies; tell them that I am not only not

married, but that I never intend to marry; tell them that we are a lot

of idiots with nothing better to do than to trifle with strangers within

our gates, people who build--I mean, people that are worth two to our

one! Run and tell them."