Next day she came in at ten as usual--She brought all the chapters
annotated--. As her attitude towards me had been as cold as it was
possible for an attitude to be, I cannot say that there was any added
shade of contempt since her interview with Suzette--What had passed
between them perhaps Burton will be able gradually to discover--.
I controlled myself, and behaved with a businesslike reserve--She had
nothing to snub me for, or to disturb her--She took the papers at twelve
o'clock--and I sighed as she left the room--I had watched her furtively
for nearly two hours--Her face was a mask--And she might indeed really
have been concentrating upon the work in hand. Her hands are whitening
considerably--. I believe their redness had something to do with her
little brother, perhaps she put very hot things on his chest.--I have
never seen such a white skin--it shows like mother of pearl against the
cheap black frock--The line of the throat is like my fascinating Nymph
with the shell--indeed the mouth is not unlike her's also. I wonder if
she has dimp--but I had better not think of those things--!
I am now determined to ask her to marry me on the first occasion I can
screw up my courage sufficiently. I have decided what I am going to say.
I am going to be quite matter of fact--I shan't tell her that I love her
even--I feel if I can secure her first I shall have a better chance
afterwards. If she thought I loved her, her nature is of that honest
kind that she might think it was dishonorable to make so uneven a
bargain with me--but if she just thinks I want her for my secretary and
to play to me--and even perhaps that there is some brute part which she
despises mixed up in my feeling for her--and which I would promise to
keep in check--she may feel that it is fair for her to take my name, and
my money, and give me nothing in return.
After lunch, which we did not have together, George Harcourt came in,
and diverted me until four o'clock.
After we had discussed the war news for a long time he began as usual
about Violetta--.
She was perfection!--She had fulfilled all he had ever asked of a
woman--but--or rather in consequence of this--she had begun to bore him,
while a new vixen with no heart and the brain of a rabbit--now drew him
strangely!
"And what are you going to do about it, my dear George?"
"Deceive her of course, Nicholas. It is a painful necessity that my kind
heart forces me to perpetrate."