Why all the delay, the fencing, the fighting, to obtain this desired
thing! This woman--my mate!
That she is my mate I know. My mate because my love is not based upon
the senses alone, but is founded upon reverence and respect. I
hope--believe--I am certain that we shall one day realize the truth of
the words: "When some strong-souls shall conquer their division,
And two shall be as one eternally!
Finding at last upon each others breasts
Unutterable calm and infinite rest."
For me, that means love, not the mere gratifying of the hunting
instinct, not the mere primitive passion for the longed for body, but a
union of the souls, which can be satisfied, having soared beyond the
laws of change.
What is it which causes unrest? Obviously because something is wanting
upon one of the planes on which we love, and so that part which is
unsatisfied, unconsciously struggles to have its hunger assuaged
elsewhere.
There is no aspect of mind, body and soul in me, which I feel would find
no counterpart in Alathea. If I reached out to any height spiritually,
she could go as high, or higher. The cleverest working of the brain I
could hope to manifest would find a complete comprehension in her. And
as for the body! Any student of physiognomy can see that those delicate
little nostrils show passion, and that cupid's bow of a mouth will
delight in kisses!
Oh! My loved one, do not make we wait too long!
* * * * *
Ye Gods! What a state of exaltation I was in when I wrote those lines
last night! But they are the truth, even if I now laugh at my expansion!
I wonder how many men are romantic underneath like I am and ashamed to
show it?
When Alathea had finished the verses for the second time, she again
dropped the book in her lap.
"What is your conception of love?" I asked casually.
"As I shall always have to crush it out of my life from now onward I
would rather not contemplate what my conception of it might have been."
"Why must you crush it out?" I asked blandly. "Your fidelity to me was
not part of the bargain, fidelity has to do with the sex relationships,
which do not concern us. One would not ask a secretary to become a nun,
on account of one. One would only ask her to behave decently, so as not
to shock the world's idea of the situation she was supposed to be
filling."
Her face grew subtle, a look came into the eyes which might have come
into George's or mine. I suddenly realized how well she really knows the
world from the hard school the circumstances of her life have caused her
to learn in.