"To what purpose, good Master Laneham?" replied the Earl; "bethink you,
my guests must needs be many."
"Not so many," replied the petitioner, "but that your nobleness will
willingly spare your old servitor his crib and his mess. Bethink you,
my lord, how necessary is this rod of mine to fright away all those
listeners, who else would play at bo-peep with the honourable council,
and be searching for keyholes and crannies in the door of the chamber,
so as to render my staff as needful as a fly-flap in a butcher's shop."
"Methinks you have found out a fly-blown comparison for the honourable
council, Master Laneham," said the Earl; "but seek not about to justify
it. Come to Kenilworth, if you list; there will be store of fools there
besides, and so you will be fitted."
"Nay, an there be fools, my lord," replied Laneham, with much glee, "I
warrant I will make sport among them, for no greyhound loves to cote a
hare as I to turn and course a fool. But I have another singular favour
to beseech of your honour."
"Speak it, and let me go," said the Earl; "I think the Queen comes forth
instantly."
"My very good lord, I would fain bring a bed-fellow with me."
"How, you irreverent rascal!" said Leicester.
"Nay, my lord, my meaning is within the canons," answered his
unblushing, or rather his ever-blushing petitioner. "I have a wife as
curious as her grandmother who ate the apple. Now, take her with me
I may not, her Highness's orders being so strict against the officers
bringing with them their wives in a progress, and so lumbering the court
with womankind. But what I would crave of your lordship is to find room
for her in some mummery, or pretty pageant, in disguise, as it were; so
that, not being known for my wife, there may be no offence."
"The foul fiend seize ye both!" said Leicester, stung into
uncontrollable passion by the recollections which this speech
excited--"why stop you me with such follies?"
The terrified clerk of the chamber-door, astonished at the burst of
resentment he had so unconsciously produced, dropped his staff of office
from his hand, and gazed on the incensed Earl with a foolish face of
wonder and terror, which instantly recalled Leicester to himself.
"I meant but to try if thou hadst the audacity which befits thine
office," said he hastily. "Come to Kenilworth, and bring the devil with
thee, if thou wilt."