Sanine - Page 21/233

Left to himself, Sarudine stood erect and shook his shapely limbs. His

eyes were half closed, and, as he smiled, his teeth shone beneath his

fair moustache. He was accustomed to have luck, and on this occasion he

foresaw even greater enjoyment in the near future. He imagined Lida in

all her voluptuous beauty at the very moment of surrender. The passion

of such a picture caused him physical pain.

At first, when he paid court to her, and after that, when she had

allowed him to embrace her and kiss her, Lida had always made him feel

somewhat afraid. While he caressed her, there was something strange,

unintelligible in her dark eyes, as though she secretly despised him

She seemed to him so clever, so absolutely unlike other women to whom

he had always felt himself obviously superior, and so proud, that for a

kiss he looked to receive a box on the ear. The thought of possessing

her was almost disquieting. At times he believed that she was just

playing with him and his position appeared simply foolish and absurd.

But to-day, after this promise, uttered hesitatingly, in faltering

tones such as he had heard other women use, he felt suddenly certain of

his power and that victory was near. He knew that things would be just

as he had desired them to be. And to this sense of voluptuous

expectancy was added a touch of spite: this proud, pure, cultured girl

should surrender to him, as all the others had surrendered; he would

use her at his pleasure, as he had used the rest. Scenes libidinous and

debasing rose up before him. Lida nude, with hair dishevelled and

inscrutable eyes, became the central figure in a turbulent orgy of

cruelty and lust. Suddenly he distinctly saw her lying on the ground;

he heard the swish of the whip; he observed a blood-red stripe on the

soft, nude, submissive body. His temples throbbed, he staggered

backwards, sparks danced before his eyes. The thought of it all became

physically intolerable. His hand shook as he lit a cigarette; again his

strong limbs twitched convulsively, and he went indoors. Sanine who had

heard nothing yet who had seen and comprehended all, followed him,

roused almost to a feeling of jealousy.

"Brutes like that are always lucky," he thought to himself, "What the

devil does it all mean? Lida and he?"

At supper, Maria Ivanovna seemed in a bad temper. Tanaroff as usual

said nothing. He thought what a fine thing it would be if he were

Sarudine, and had such a sweetheart as Lida to love him. He would have

loved her in quite a different way, though. Sarudine did not know how

to appreciate his good fortune. Lida was pale and silent, looking at no

one. Sarudine was gay, and on the alert, like a wild beast that scents

its prey. Sanine yawned as usual, ate, drank a good deal of brandy and

apparently seemed longing to go to sleep. But when supper was over, he

declared his intention of walking home with Sarudine. It was near

midnight, and the moon shone high overhead. Almost in silence the two

walked towards the officer's quarters. All the way Sanine kept looking

furtively at Sarudine, wondering if he should, or should not, strike

him in the face.