Sanine - Page 218/233

Sina was mute. Her soft, transparent ear, half-hidden by her hair,

became rosy, and her long eyelashes quivered.

"You're miserable, now, and yesterday, how beautiful it all was," he

said. "Sorrows only exist because man has set a price upon his own

happiness. If our way of living were different, last night would remain

in our memory as one of life's most beautiful and precious

experiences."

"Yes, if ..." she said mechanically. Then, all at once, much to her own

surprise, she smiled. And as sunrise, and the song of birds, and the

sound of whispering reeds, so this smile seemed to cheer her spirit.

Yet it was but for a moment.

All at once she saw her whole future life before her, a broken life of

sorrow and shame. The prospect was so horrible that it roused hatred.

"Go away! Leave me!" she said sharply. Her teeth were clenched and her

face wore a hard, vindictive expression as she rose to her feet.

Sanine pitied her. For a moment he was moved to offer her his name and

his protection, yet something held him back. He felt that such amends

would be too mean.

"Ah! well," he thought, "life must just take its course."

"I know that you are in love with Yourii Svarogitsch," he began.

"Perhaps it is that which grieves you most?"

"I am in love with no one," murmured Sina, clasping her hands

convulsively.

"Don't bear me any ill-will," pleaded Sanine. "You're just as beautiful

as ever you were, and the same happiness that you gave to me, you will

give to him you love--far more, indeed, far more. I wish you from my

heart all possible joy, and I shall always picture you to myself as I

saw you last night. Good-bye ... and, if ever you need me, send for me.

If I could ... I would give my life for you."

Sina looked at him, and was silent, stirred by strange pity.

"It may all come right, who knows?" she thought, and for a moment

matters did not seem so dreadful. They gazed into each other's eyes

steadfastly, knowing that in their hearts they held a secret which no

one would ever discover, and the memory of which would always be

bright.

"Well, good-bye," said Sina, in a gentle, girlish voice.

Sanine looked radiant with pleasure. She held out her hand, and they

kissed, simply, affectionately, like brother and sister.

Sina accompanied Sanine as far as the garden-gate and sorrowfully

watched him go. Then she went back to the garden, and lay down on the

scented grass that waved and rustled round her. She shut her eyes,

thinking of all that had happened, and wondering whether she ought to

tell Yourii or not.