This spectacle, I avow, might have made any other man pause in his
zealous operations,--not so my uncle, however; he did not think twice
about it, but with his usual unconcerned air proceeded to open out the
fair one's stays, then took up the water-bottle, and emptied it with one
dash into the hollow between her rounded charms.
A convulsive start, and another scream, indicated immediately the
successful effect of this triumphant measure.
"There!" he said to me, "you see that's all that was needed."
Just at this moment the gentleman who belonged to the lady came in. It
is hardly necessary to add that when he saw my uncle occupied upon a
business so distinctly his own, the new-comer evinced some temper.
"Bon Dieu!" he shouted out as he rushed forward, "What's the meaning
of this? What's the meaning of this?"
"Nothing serious!" answered the pasha. "Your lady has simply been in a
swoon, nothing more; it's all over now!"
"But what have you been about, sir? What do you mean by throwing water
like that, right upon people's bosoms--?"
"It was all to do you a service," replied this saviour, quite
composedly.
The lady, for her part, looked as if she was going off in another fit,
but my uncle, judging no doubt that he had fulfilled his part of the
duties, and without troubling himself any further about the mingled
alarms and stares of the people of the house who came up, made one of
his ceremonious bows to the whole company, and took me away with him,
saying, "Come, let us drink our madeira."
So we went out.
Being accustomed to Barbassou-Pasha's ways, I was certainly not
surprised at such a trifle as this. The waiter having served us, ten
minutes had elapsed, and while we were discussing the irreparable loss
of the Xerez and Douro vines, all of a sudden the door opened. It was
the lady's cavalier, and he came in raging like a storm.
"Bagasse!" he exclaimed with a furious look, and his hair bristling up
like a porcupine. "But you won't get off quite so easily as that, sir!
Who ever heard of such a thing? Undressing a defenceless woman like
that, and quite a stranger too!! Not to mention that you have spoilt her
dress, which looks as if she had been under the pump!"
His words rolled on like a torrent, in the purest Provençal accent. This
made my uncle smile, as if at some pleasant reminiscence; and putting on
his most engaging expression, he asked the new-comer in a gentle tone of
voice: "What are you to this lady?"